In defense of “the routine”

Hello. My name is Joe. And I’m Anal-Retentive. (Hello, Joe).
 

 

Years ago, whenever I heard the term “anal retentive,” it used to make me go berserk. When someone spoke the term, what I heard was “uptight” or “inflexible” or “stubborn” or “boring.” In short, it was an insult. But then one day, that changed. I was having a chat with my good friend,columella  She referred to me using the dreaded A-R term, and I let her know how much it upset me. “Oh Joe,” she said, dismissing my upset in the way that only a good friend can do. “You ARE anal-retentive. I know, because I am anal-retentive and I see my own qualities in you.” I went silent. She had a point – and a really good one. Hmmmm… she used the word “qualities”. I liked that. For me, that was the first time I had heard one of my friends use this designation in a positive way.
 

 

Since that time, I have learned to embrace, enjoy, take pride in, and depend upon my own sense of organization. Damn right, I am a list-maker! Yes, I DO keep a regular “to do” list. Yes, I DO rely upon various routines. Yes, there really SHOULD be a place for everything, with everything in its place. Yes, it DOES tick me off when I reach for something in a particular place and I discover that it is not there. No, I don’t expect that everyone in the world values planning and organizing as much as I do (although Gods only know, I think it would be LOVELY), but at the same time, I don’t believe I should take any crap from anybody because I like to do things in certain ways.
 

 

- “LIVE a little,” I have heard some people say critically. Um… what makes you think that I don’t? I DO live – quite a lot, actually – almost too much, frankly.
 

 

- “Be a little bit spontaneous!” I have heard. Sorry, but “spontaneity” in my book is just a polite way of saying, “can’t get his s#*%$ together ahead of time.” The fact of the matter is, I don’t like surprises. They make me very uncomfortable. I don’t like the “not knowing” part. Want spontaneity? Then let’s plan it! Sound counter-intuitive? It isn’t. If I know that on such-n-such a day, I should set aside an afternoon, and we’ll figure out what we want to do when the mood takes us, I’m good with that. We can leave the agenda open, but at least I know to set aside this block of time for something yet to be determined. Should one person’s desire to be spontaneous automatically trump another person’s time or plans? I don’t think so.

 

- “Loosen up!” some people have said. Here’s the reality – my brain often fires too quickly, and I have several thoughts racing through my head at one time. I don’t know if everyone else has this happen to the same level, but for me, it can be a problem. As a result of several thoughts and distractions occurring, it can be very, VERY easy for me to forget some of the most basic and important things. By developing routines, no matter what else is happening, I am much less likely to forget something crucially important. To some, it may look like a boring refusal to break out of a mold. For me, it is basic survival. I cannot TELL you how many times I have found myself in a panic trying to locate a particular item that I do not recall filing away. “Routine” dictates that this type of object should only be located in place X, Y, or Z. Sure enough, on most occasions I am able to track it down and continue with the daily progress. Thanks be to the routine!

 

I guess my point of this little mini-rant is simply this. I’m not trying to change the way anyone else lives his or her life. Whether you live your life by the seat of your pants, or by a strict set of rules and guidelines, I’m good with that, as long as it works for you. But don’t judge me if I choose to lead my life differently than you. Not only does my system work for me, but I really enjoy it. And if this doesn’t fit in with your universe, I don’t think that I’m the one with the problem.