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In recent points in my life, I have learned some things about friends and acquaintances far and wide that have made me open my eyes to the challenges of life. To put it simply, I know a lot of people who are in some form or another of a closet.
To “Be in the Closet” is typically understood by most as being gay, but either living in denial or keeping the lifestyle very quiet and very personal. But just like any architect will tell you, there are many, many, MANY forms of closets out there. And the more I get to know people, and the closer I become to them, the more I learn that many people out there live, at least part of the time, in some form of a closet. And ya know what? That really sucks. In a closet, you get no sunlight. In a closet, the air grows stale. In a closet, there is no room to grow.
There are many reasons that some people choose to be in a closet. Sometimes, it is because some aspect of their lives just doesn’t fit in with church, or with family upbringing, or work. Other times, they feel forced to. One thing that is fairly universal for those who live in a closet – they do so out of fear. This isn’t to say that closeted people are cowards. Au contraire! Fear is something that we all experience in some form or another. That is what makes us human! But fear is often a very real and crippling thing. And the fear of rejection, or condemnation, or judgment can be intense. Some people hide aspects of their lives because they think it could cost them a job, or a relationship, or some important position of respect.
Regardless of the reason, closets just aren’t healthy.
While I love being an American, and embrace the many freedoms that this country affords, one thing that I do NOT like about this nation is how incredibly uptight and conservative we are. Seriously! Just turn on the TV. I’m sure you’ll see some politician somewhere preaching (yes PREACHING) about American values, etc. Sorry, but I don’t consider it the job of any politician ANYWHERE to dictate to me what my religion should be, or what my values should be. In my universe, there would be absolutely NO such thing as the concept of “American values”. Why? Because as a diverse melting pot, I think one thing that we *should* embrace is our own diversity. I may not like or respect another person or their beliefs or attitude, but I do support that person’s right to have them.
When I finally faced the reality that I was indeed a 30-something year old gay man, I looked the closet-door in the eye, and decided that I was absolutely NOT going to live there. I wasn’t even aware that I had been in one. But looking back, I can say this – it was miserable. And I feel sorry for anyone else who, for whatever reason, feels the need to live in one.
Closets are for clothes – not people. Here in this new year, I would ask this of all of my friends and acquaintance out there. Please, be kind not only to others, but to yourself. Love yourself. Embrace yourself. And consider leaving the closet behind. Trust me… it is just no way to live.
To “Be in the Closet” is typically understood by most as being gay, but either living in denial or keeping the lifestyle very quiet and very personal. But just like any architect will tell you, there are many, many, MANY forms of closets out there. And the more I get to know people, and the closer I become to them, the more I learn that many people out there live, at least part of the time, in some form of a closet. And ya know what? That really sucks. In a closet, you get no sunlight. In a closet, the air grows stale. In a closet, there is no room to grow.
There are many reasons that some people choose to be in a closet. Sometimes, it is because some aspect of their lives just doesn’t fit in with church, or with family upbringing, or work. Other times, they feel forced to. One thing that is fairly universal for those who live in a closet – they do so out of fear. This isn’t to say that closeted people are cowards. Au contraire! Fear is something that we all experience in some form or another. That is what makes us human! But fear is often a very real and crippling thing. And the fear of rejection, or condemnation, or judgment can be intense. Some people hide aspects of their lives because they think it could cost them a job, or a relationship, or some important position of respect.
Regardless of the reason, closets just aren’t healthy.
While I love being an American, and embrace the many freedoms that this country affords, one thing that I do NOT like about this nation is how incredibly uptight and conservative we are. Seriously! Just turn on the TV. I’m sure you’ll see some politician somewhere preaching (yes PREACHING) about American values, etc. Sorry, but I don’t consider it the job of any politician ANYWHERE to dictate to me what my religion should be, or what my values should be. In my universe, there would be absolutely NO such thing as the concept of “American values”. Why? Because as a diverse melting pot, I think one thing that we *should* embrace is our own diversity. I may not like or respect another person or their beliefs or attitude, but I do support that person’s right to have them.
When I finally faced the reality that I was indeed a 30-something year old gay man, I looked the closet-door in the eye, and decided that I was absolutely NOT going to live there. I wasn’t even aware that I had been in one. But looking back, I can say this – it was miserable. And I feel sorry for anyone else who, for whatever reason, feels the need to live in one.
Closets are for clothes – not people. Here in this new year, I would ask this of all of my friends and acquaintance out there. Please, be kind not only to others, but to yourself. Love yourself. Embrace yourself. And consider leaving the closet behind. Trust me… it is just no way to live.
