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The regret
Nov. 18th, 2004 08:53 amCountdown, 16 days!
Yesterday, it finally happened. We received the RSVP from Paul's mother. She has opted not to attend the wedding. And thus, we begin operation letter-writing.
For those of you who have never met Paul's mother, she is in her 80's, and gives a new meaning to the phrase, "right-wing." We have had a few rough times in the past, such as a brief point in time when she refused to allow me under her roof. Note, it was ok for me to help paint the inside of her house when she was in the hospital, but it was not ok for me to enter her home. After the stern chastizing that she received from all three of Paul's siblings, she relented to allow me to enter the house, as long as I didn't plan on sleeping there.
Let me state for the record...
... I recognize the fact that she is from a different time and different generation.
... I recognize the fact that she is firm in her religious convictions, and I have no intention of trying to change them.
... I have no intention of getting in her face. Whenever she and I have been in the same place at the same time, she has been nothing but pleasant and courteous to me, and she deserves the same in return.
... Paul is very much the tough guy. Sure, he is an eloquent gay man who sounds like the Scarlet Pimpernell, but rarely does he let down his emotional guard. I have no doubt that receiving a refusal from his mother hurts. He won't talk about it. He immediately becomes defensive on his mother's behalf. But the fact remains, it hurts him. And while I know that it is not his mother's intent to cause hurt, that is nonetheless the result.
Paul and I made an agreement. Long ago, before we even began planning the wedding, we recognized the fact that his mother might refuse to attend. And at that time, I told him that if she indeed refused, I reserved my right to write her a letter. And that is what I plan to do.
Now... how to phrase it. This is gonna be tough.
Yesterday, it finally happened. We received the RSVP from Paul's mother. She has opted not to attend the wedding. And thus, we begin operation letter-writing.
For those of you who have never met Paul's mother, she is in her 80's, and gives a new meaning to the phrase, "right-wing." We have had a few rough times in the past, such as a brief point in time when she refused to allow me under her roof. Note, it was ok for me to help paint the inside of her house when she was in the hospital, but it was not ok for me to enter her home. After the stern chastizing that she received from all three of Paul's siblings, she relented to allow me to enter the house, as long as I didn't plan on sleeping there.
Let me state for the record...
... I recognize the fact that she is from a different time and different generation.
... I recognize the fact that she is firm in her religious convictions, and I have no intention of trying to change them.
... I have no intention of getting in her face. Whenever she and I have been in the same place at the same time, she has been nothing but pleasant and courteous to me, and she deserves the same in return.
... Paul is very much the tough guy. Sure, he is an eloquent gay man who sounds like the Scarlet Pimpernell, but rarely does he let down his emotional guard. I have no doubt that receiving a refusal from his mother hurts. He won't talk about it. He immediately becomes defensive on his mother's behalf. But the fact remains, it hurts him. And while I know that it is not his mother's intent to cause hurt, that is nonetheless the result.
Paul and I made an agreement. Long ago, before we even began planning the wedding, we recognized the fact that his mother might refuse to attend. And at that time, I told him that if she indeed refused, I reserved my right to write her a letter. And that is what I plan to do.
Now... how to phrase it. This is gonna be tough.
