Look out for Santa!

You’d better not shout.

You’d better not cry.

You’d better not pout.

I’m tellin’ you why.

Cuz Santa is a reckless driver!

 

Coming home yesterday from a long day of site visits, I approached my final turn south when out of nowhere, this beat up white sedan decided to pull out from a side street right in front of me.  Jamming on my brakes, I almost plowed right into him.  Braced to blast the horn, I noticed the driver in front of me, and I just had to take a moment.  It was Santa!  Sure nuff, the driver of the white sedan wore a red suit, lined in fur.  His full white beard rounded his ample face.  He even wore the floppy red hat.  Aside from the sunglasses, he looked in every way like he had just stepped out of Macy’s.

 

“Oh Dear.” I thought.  “I almost rear-ended Santa Claus.”

 

What exactly IS the penalty for getting into an accident with Santa?  Lumps of coal certainly come to mind, but I think this could be even worse.  Gosh, I hate to even THINK about it.

 

Dear Santa, I appreciate the fact that you are used to driving a sleigh with reindeer.  Certainly such a method of transport must have some advantages – less traffic being one of them.  I am happy to see that you have decided to embrace some other methods of transportation.  That shows me that you are a progressive and forward-thinker.  Good for you!  I must caution you, however, to please pay attention to traffic law and the rules of the road.  While you may be able to navigate the entire globe all in one night, Orange County traffic presents challenges unlike anywhere else in the world.  Please remember, be safe and sane.  And no eggnog before you get behind the wheel.  Take care.  Be well. 

 

Your good friend, Joe. 

 

P.S.  I want a pony.

Anniversary recap

Thank you all for your anniversary thoughts and wishes.

After an intensely frustrating day at the office, I returned home to meet my husbear for our Anniversary.  Truth be told, I felt exhausted from far too much running around to different provider sites all afternoon, and just wanted a mental health break.  Shortly before leaving for our destination, I saw that we had received the boxes of Home Tour booklets back from the printer.  Since the booklet was my design, I was excited to see the finished product, hoping it would add a little bit of brightness before heading out.

 

NOT!

 

I almost cried – they utterly screwed it up.  The file that they used obviously had corruption errors.  Only 8 of the 32 pages came out well.  ARGH!  Long story short, I’ll be heading to the printers today to have a little discussion.

 

As for our Anniversary – WOW!  Paul did fantabulously.  He took me out to dinner at the White House in Anaheim.  It really was the perfect evening and the perfect match.  On the one hand, the White House is an Edwardian mansion converted into a restaurant.  It had enough cool detail left so that old house geeks like us got our fix.  As for the food – WOW!  Preparation – flawless.  Presentation – artful grace.  But then, we started to notice a few unusual things.  The place itself was spotless.  The food, artsy-artsy-artsy.  And the waiters… all young, strong, thin, muscular, good looking guys. 

 

And then… the cookbook.  The head chef/owner recently put out a cookbook.  On one page, a beautiful portrait of the finished dish.  On the next, a beautiful hot young shirtless buff model holding food items complimenting the dish.  It was like looking through an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog.  The waiters chatted us up, pushing the cookbook, stressing that the owner “and his partner” were downstairs and would sign the book if we bought one.  Almost chuckling, we bought a book.  Sure ‘nuff, the owner – Bruno – came up shortly after, introducing himself, shaking our hands, and chatting for a while about food, old houses, etc. 

 

What a really, really great evening!  I have the bestest bestest husband ever!