Thoughts of a better world on a migraine morning

In my dream, I walked around while my head grew larger and larger, almost like a balloon-headed cartoon character.  People around me stared in horror as the side of my temple grew and pulsed like some Martian in a horror flick.  In my dream, I began taking pills – handfuls and handfuls of pills, all designed to shrink the swelling, and dull the pain.  But nothing worked.  Then, by around 5:00am, I woke up to find the cause of the dream – an intense migraine that left me sick to my stomach.  Ugh.  Ow!  Fumbling out of bed, I stumbled through the darkness knowing that turning on a light would have the effect of sending a shard of glass through my eyeball.  Finding a bottle of Excedrin migraine, I popped two pills and fell back into bed, the effects of my headache slowly beginning to subside. 

 

For those of you who have never had a migraine, picture if you will the worst morning-after-an-intense-night-of-drinking-and-partying.  The light is too bright, sounds too sharp, your head feels like it weighs a million pounds, the pounding in your head is so intense that you believe your head to be physically moving to the beat, and your eyes feel like they are about to skyrocket out of their sockets.  Now… amplify that. 

 

By the time my alarm clock was ready to buzz, my internal clock woke me wide awake.  Sitting down to the table at breakfast, my headache had subsided to a very dull residual thud.  But, I felt physically drained – the typical after-effect of a really bad attack.  Scanning the pages of the paper, only a few articles really caught my attention amid the discussions of genocide, war, and caucuses.  Landing in the Entertainment section, I read a nice article about Vanessa Redgrave and her newest movie.  Such grace…  at 71, Mz. Redgrave carries a style and dignity about her that simply eludes most people.  There is something about her eyes – liquid blue the paper described.  And her smile.  It is not the striking smile of a pinup beauty.  Rather, it is the smile of time and experience – suggesting the life of one who had always seized the day.  Right, wrong, or somewhere in between; her smile proudly shows all the bruises and the scars of life.  Mz. Redgrave’s smile suggests a woman who is fiercely proud – proud of her life, proud of her accomplishments, proud of her decisions, and pleased as punch to be where she is.  And when she goes, she will probably still have that same smile.

 

In a world of people who are willing to say whatever it takes to win the vote, or willing to pose artificially in whatever sort of picture just to be liked, rarely do we find people who have gained fame through talent and by simply sticking to their guns.  Sincerity – such a rare quality!  Sometimes, yesterday’s notoriety becomes today’s legend.  I recall in the late 70’s/early 80’s Mz. Redgrave standing up firmly in support of the then Palestinian Liberation Organization, gaining much scorn among an American population who had in many ways bought into the idea that Israel was purely a victim, and the P.L.O. purely a terrorist organization – despite the majority of the rest of the world believing exactly the opposite.  Over time, America began to learn more and more about the Middle East, and how all parties are capable of atrocious acts in the name of psychotic religious zeal.  Mz. Redgrave’s non-conformist political stances over the decades have made her unpopular in particular social circles.  Her politics and political stances led her to decline the Queen’s invitation to Knighthood.  Those who claim, “there ain’t nuthin’ like a Dame,” obviously never met Mz. Redgrave.

 

Determination, defiance and sincerity against the odds – I admire that.