A Sympathetic Ear

Ever have one of those days when you run into a situation that frustrates you so much you just wanna scream?

 

Ever have somebody do something in such a passive-aggressive manner that you just want to club the person?  Sure.  We all do.  And generally, to get the annoyance out of our systems, we all need to vent from time to time.  A brief amount of venting to a sympathetic ear generally does the trick.  And the response of the sympathetic ear can either help the situation or exacerbate it.

 

My husbear and I have discussed this type of thing in depth in the past.  Typically if I came home from work feeling annoyed or frustrated, and I began to vent, he used to provide what he believed to be “helpful” suggestions to fix the problem.  This does not work particularly well with me.  For me, when I am venting, I am getting my emotions out.  I am very capable of dealing with the situation, but not until I get the annoyance out of my system.  I know what I *need* to do.  But just for 20 seconds or so, I need a sympathetic ear to relate.  “Wow… that really sucks!” or “That person sounds like a real cheesemeister” can really do wonders to calm me down.

 

This morning, I vented to one of my coworkers about a rather passive aggressive manager that I have to work with.  There really is no question about the passive aggressive history of this one particular individual.  All I wanted was to hear the soothing words of a sympathetic ear.  Not so much.  This particular coworker instead emphasized what she believed I should have done to avoid the frustration.  GRRRR!  Yes, I know I *could* have set up roadblocks (which would have annoyed the manager even more).  Yes, I know I *could* have made extra-special efforts (spending my time and energy), devoted specially to this one high-maintenance git to keep her on track.  In short, I am keenly aware that I had the option of putting extra-effort into getting her to do what everyone else is able to do on their own.  The point of my venting was not to be lectured on what I could have done – I was looking for a sympathetic ear from a friend who has also shared the same frustrations in the past with the same individual over the same types of things.

 

Gee… thanks “buddy.”  I’ll remember that.  The next time you complain about your nephew and niece waking you up late at night because the television is too loud, perhaps I should tell you that it is your fault for not having put extra padding on your bedroom walls.  The next time you complain about how bad traffic is, perhaps I should tell you that it is your own fault for not getting up a half hour earlier to get to work.  Le sigh… no I won’t.  That would be mean, and I just don’t get anything out of that.  I’m just frustrated because instead of getting to blow off some much-needed steam, my cow-orker simply turned the pressure up.  Oh well… such is life.