Brain Chemistry – t’is a weird thing

I have been in THE WORST MOOD over the past week or so. Despite the fact that the moon is currently full (normally my happy, bouncy time) my internal chemistry seems to be completely out of whack. Yesterday was the worst of it. I hurt my back this weekend, and that just sent me over the edge. At work, I found myself so seething in fury, I just shut my door to keep from barking at any innocent co-worker who walked by. At home, I have really, REALLY had to keep myself in check. My dear hubby is laid out on the couch, unable to do anything because of his neck.  On the one hand, I feel horrible for him. But on the other hand, my inner Joan Crawford simply cannot help but notice the fact that the house is full of clutter, and a disgusting layer of black soot and leaves from the recent wind and fires.   (I am not exaggerating on that last part, btw. One of the “interesting” features of living in a vintage house in So Cal involves having nearly 100 windows and no window screens, as they were stolen long ago and have yet to be replaced. So whatever the wind blows in, the wind blows all over the place with a fury.) BLECH!!!!!!!! 

 

By the time I got home yesterday from the gym, I felt like the poster-child for Road Rage. Everything… absolutely EVERYTHING was pissing me off, and it took every last fiber of my being to keep from completely snapping. Absolutely everything and everyone was in danger. At that moment, I completely related to that woman in “Chicago” who fired two warning shots at her lover… Into His Head. She told him to stop poppin’ his gum, and he wouldn’t. HE HAD IT COMIN’!

 

Following dinner, I couldn’t do anything. No embroidery… no reading… no conversation. I had to turn to Reality TV to channel and focus my boiling-over-anger. When in doubt – SNARK! After about a half hour of making fun of Tim Gunn, I felt at least civilized enough to kiss my hubby goodnight and go to bed.

 

Fast forward to this morning. I overslept – never a good thing. Realizing that I had lost a half hour to get ready, I quickly scurried downstairs to make breakfast, only to discover that the kitchen was an absolute pigsty – the single biggest thing guaranteed to push me over the edge. Joan Crawford SHOULD have come out and made a scene, right? By all rights, wire hangers should have gone flyin’, right? That would make sense, right? Yet… I felt fine. I’m in a… in a…

 

… I’m in a good mood. WTF? This isn’t a complaint. It just… makes no sense.

 

So far this morning, I’m in a whistle-a-catchy-tune-while-walkin-down-the-street kinda mood. My back feels better. I’m glad to get things done at work, and look forward to an evening of artsiness. I repeat… WTF? 

 

This is making no sense – NO sense at all. 

 

As I see it, my choices are…

 

1. Go on some sort of mood-stabilizing regimen and gain weight again – HELL to the nope.
2. Start poppin’ zanax like various members of friends and family, REALLY screw with my mood stability, get hooked, and end up like a character in Sordid Lives – UBER-NOPE.
3. Effectively communicate (when I am in a good frame of mind) to friends and family to just back away, leave me alone, and ignore me when Joan comes out.

 

I think I’ll stick with option C.

The Arguments on Prop 8

Over the years, I have mellowed quite a bit in terms of religion and lifestyle. “To each his own”, I figure. I can stand side-by-side with someone who lives his or her life by a completely different set of rules from my own. Is there only One True Path? Heck no. Is there only one set of rules? Heck no. Should there only be one path? Certainly not. How dull would life be? People, by their very nature, are different. Like the ingredients to any fine culinary dish, each of us contributes our own flavor, texture, and reaction to create the wonderful delicacy known as the human existence. Some are sweet. Some are sour. Some are bland. Some are spicy. And some are just bitter. Yet, without any one of these things, something would be missing in the finished dish.

 

While I may or may not agree with the philosophy of the person standing next to me, I believe in supporting civil rights. Where I draw the line is when the person standing next to me tries to force his rules on me. Let’s think about it -

 

I’m a carnivore. The person next to me may be vegetarian. Would it be fair for that person to force me to stop eating meat because he doesn’t like it? I don’t think so.

 

I’m a pagan. The person next to me may be a Muslim. Would it be fair for that person to force me to begin worshipping as he worships? I don’t think so.

 

The person next to me may be a local president of the NRA. I wish this country had a better grip on gun control. Would it be fair for me to seize all of his guns because I am uncomfortable with them? I don’t think so.

 

You get the point. 

 

I understand that some people are uncomfortable with the idea of same-gender marriage. Heck, I understand that some people are uncomfortable with the idea of same-gender anything. Whether it be on moral grounds or religious or gut instinct, I understand that some people are just uncomfortable with it. I get that. But I have rights too. And the discomfort of one should not be grounds for discriminatory legal action. Is it fair to strip an existing right from one class of people?

 

Blacks weren’t always free.

Women weren’t always allowed to vote.

Interracial marriage was not always allowed.

 

Beyond the emotion of this issue…beyond the religious arguments…beyond any of that, I ask that each and every one of you reading this remember something – this is a matter of civil rights.