Future Shock

My friends make fun of me because of my phone. (OK, that isn’t the only reason they make fun of me, but let’s stay focused on today’s story, shall we?) Many of my friends are phone-fiends. Whenever some newfangled crazy cellphone comes out, I hear no end of complaints along the lines of, “I need an upgrade. My phone is just ancient!” And by “ancient”, we mean at least a couple of months old. In some ways, I can see the appeal. With so many apps available, phones nowadays can help organize, speed up communication, fold your laundry, start up your microwave dinner, and under the right circumstances, even give you a happy ending.

 

And then there’s me.

 

The fact is, for my wants and needs, technology is moving TOO quickly. When cellphones first really hit the market as something that honestly anybody could afford, I was resistant. I viewed cellphones not as a convenience, but as an anchor. Why? Because for the longest time, the understanding was simple. To reach somebody by phone, they had to be home. Slowly but surely, that concept went out the window. No longer did somebody need to “be at home” to be reached via cellphone. And thus, the expectations began to grow. Now, having been faced with the situation of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with a flat or engine trouble, I eventually bought into the idea of having a cellphone – FOR EMERGENCIES. But again, that expectation went out the window.

 

Eventually, I got used to the idea of having a phone around at all times. But I have always reserved the right to ignore a ring. Just because a person has the ability to call me 24/7 does not mean that I make any promises to pay attention to my phone 24/7. In no way is that a statement about the person calling – it is a statement about how I feel when it comes to telephone access and my time.

 

While friends upgrade left and right, I held on to my little brick cellphone with a deathgrip until the day that it no longer worked. Wanting to replace it with exactly the same thing, I discovered to my horror that such a thing was not possible. They simply didn’t make “old” phones like that any more. GAK! So a newer model (still uber-primitive by most people’s standards) was forced upon me. Truth be told, it somewhat freaked me out. It had a lot of functions that I just didn’t understand and didn’t want. I wanted a phone – no more, no less. I wanted to be able to call somebody or have them call me. Period. But eventually, I began receiving these things called “Texts”. It took me a while to get the hang of them. And yes, I will admit, eventually I began a textaholic, texting like a 15 year old girl who just got out of Twilight for the 23^rd time. But honestly, I don’t want anything more than that.

 

The sad part is, my phone is slowly dying. It is taking longer to get messages, and receive information. Not built for long life, I will eventually have to get something newer. Like Carrie Bradshaw, I LIKE my flip-phone and really don’t want some new gadget thrust upon me. The boys in the bars point and laugh at my flip-phone, but hey – it works for me – and in this situation, mine is the only opinion that should count, right?

 

Why is it sooooooooooooo important to cram as much technology into phones as possible? Seriously? A washing machine is designed to wash clothes – period. A microwave oven is designed to cook food – period. Why does a phone have to come with a camera and net access and applications and music and… and… and…

 

I don’t want a techie-gadget. Why can’t we just keep things simple??????????