Getting back into the groove

It seems to have taken me a while – much longer than I would have liked – but I think I’m somewhat back into my groove. Slowly but surely, I have whittled away at my to-do list, and have things back under control.

I’m not quite sure what happened, but I hit a stumbling block a couple of months ago where my to-do list was winning compared to my energy-level and drive. I had a couple of projects that I had been excited to do and had volunteered to do and had determined to do. I got about half way through both and just… hit a wall. I know that this may not sound all that unusual to many people. But for me, it’s a big deal. Why? Well… because I just don’t take on a task unless I finish it.

Slowly but surely, I am coming to accept what I find to be a new chapter in my life. It is that horrible reality-check called, “Middle Aged”. (GASP!) All joking aside, I have always prided myself in my ability to juggle and manage my time. Call it my competition with humanity, but I have taken a hubristic amount of pride in the fact that I can not only bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan, but also cure the bacon… and do the gardening… and do home projects… and domestics… and artsy stuff… and yoga…, and, and. While other people have complained about an energy loss or the inability to do more than one thing at a time, I have arrogantly thought to myself, “good thing that ain’t me. Onwards with crossing off things on the list!” But then… it happened. No, my routine has not come crashing to a halt. And fortunately, I have not just had to suddenly stop like many of my acquaintances. But, I have had to reach a balance. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, my body seems to just go, “Hang on there, bucko! Rest up… NOW!” And if I don’t comply, I suffer consequences. So at this phase, I just have to accept that in my own head, I am no longer going to be an “A” student. Most days are now “B+”. Some days are “B”. And others are… well… I’d rather not think about it.

I guess all things considered, I’m still doin’ pretty good, right? I guess I just need more time to mull this over. Oh well… I guess that is something I can do while I am in body-imposed-time-out on the couch. Maybe I should add said contemplation to my “to do” list.

If I’m gonna do it anyway, I may as well allow myself the joy of being able to cross it off.