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Health update
Dec. 16th, 2012 01:12 pmGood afternoon all,
I will confess that this posting may not flow particularly well, as I am in the midst of a drug-induced haze that is really screwing with my ability to concentrate.
So, where last we left off, several of you were in a panic because we posted a picture of me in a hospital gurney. That was from my second hospital trip to get scoped out. The first scope was a sigmoidoscopy (where they go part of the way into you with a camera). The sigmoidoscopy found an area of severe inflammation and weird unidentiable white spots. So they took biopsies and sent them off to the lab.
With this sort of a condition, they don't just have a standard plan of treatment. They have several things they could do, depending on what the issue is and where. And because all of my visible issues appeared to be very low, it looked like the best plan of attack would be to treat just that area. But... (and there's always a but), they weren't sure if indeed that was the only problem. So I had to go in for a second scope - this time a full colonoscopy.
The colonoscopy in and of itself is not exactly a comfortable procedure. But for me it was made worse because my lower half is like pins and needles sensitive right now - just *thinking* about anything touching me down there causes pain, much less to have a camera probe goin' through. So despite the intraveneous drugs, I remember a couple of times screaming (yes, SCREAMING) in pain. So... more drugs were administered and I don't remember a whole heckuvalot from the rest of the procedure (or much of the day). About all I DO recall is that either I or my darling hubby convinced the doctors that, while we understood they wouldn't know how to TREAT this condition until all the tests came back, I needed something for the pain NOW, NOW, NOW! (Up until this point, they had not given me anything, nor had I really asked for it. But for the first time in my life, I finally am requesting pain medication).
So fast forward to today. We are awaiting results of the analyses on the samples and the biopsies. It *looks* like what I have is some sort of ulcerative colitis - but it is not typical, meaning they just cannot be sure what has caused it. The good news is that they ruled out all the Really Bad Stuff like viral infection or cancer. So either this is some sort of bacterial thing, or some stress-related condition, or I have overnight developed something like Crohn's (which is simply unacceptable, and I refuse to allow that to happen).
The results of the analyses should come in tomorrow, and I have an appointment with an M.D. Gastrointestinal specialist Tuesday. In the meantime, this weekend has been probably the heaviest "Rest" period I can remember having in my adult life. I haven't done didley squat but sleep and be on the couch. And yesterday, I think it was the first day that I noticed a decline in pain. Whereas before it had been steadily increasing, yesterday I noticed a decrease. And today again, a decrease. I'm still sleepy as all get-out, despite sleeping long, deep, and comfortably. I cannot focus on really doing anything (which mentally is driving my over-achiever, "to do" list maker absolutely bat-shit!), but I know that it is what I need.
It is too early to tell yet, but it *feels* like I am healing slightly. And ya know what - after over a month of this horrible whatever-it-is, I will take a minor little victory. I am willing to let some more days go by of doing nothing and not pushing myself. But let me say this now so that all may know - I refuse - REFUSE - to be held captive by any medical condition. Part of what makes me me is being an overachiever. Yes, I normally burn the candle at both ends. Yes, I typically stress myself out by biting off more than I can chew. And yes, maybe I need to pull back a little bit from that on an ongoing basis. But it is also part of what makes me me. I take pride in being able to do more than the average person. I am NOT your every day kinda Joe. I am not, and I never will be. If I am, you may as well lower me into the grave. Life is too precious and too fantastic to not experience many facets - even if that means enjoying them sometimes at the same time. It is the way that I'm wired and the way that I choose to live my life. Yes, I realize I'm going to have to start listening to my body a little bit more than I used to. And yes, I realize that I am going to have to accept a few limitations going forward. But that it is as far I am willing to go.
This will NOT beat me. I will NOT be held captive by a condition. I am a Portugee, goddamn it, and that means my stubbornness is tougher than steel. I WILL get better and I will return to my life!
I will confess that this posting may not flow particularly well, as I am in the midst of a drug-induced haze that is really screwing with my ability to concentrate.
So, where last we left off, several of you were in a panic because we posted a picture of me in a hospital gurney. That was from my second hospital trip to get scoped out. The first scope was a sigmoidoscopy (where they go part of the way into you with a camera). The sigmoidoscopy found an area of severe inflammation and weird unidentiable white spots. So they took biopsies and sent them off to the lab.
With this sort of a condition, they don't just have a standard plan of treatment. They have several things they could do, depending on what the issue is and where. And because all of my visible issues appeared to be very low, it looked like the best plan of attack would be to treat just that area. But... (and there's always a but), they weren't sure if indeed that was the only problem. So I had to go in for a second scope - this time a full colonoscopy.
The colonoscopy in and of itself is not exactly a comfortable procedure. But for me it was made worse because my lower half is like pins and needles sensitive right now - just *thinking* about anything touching me down there causes pain, much less to have a camera probe goin' through. So despite the intraveneous drugs, I remember a couple of times screaming (yes, SCREAMING) in pain. So... more drugs were administered and I don't remember a whole heckuvalot from the rest of the procedure (or much of the day). About all I DO recall is that either I or my darling hubby convinced the doctors that, while we understood they wouldn't know how to TREAT this condition until all the tests came back, I needed something for the pain NOW, NOW, NOW! (Up until this point, they had not given me anything, nor had I really asked for it. But for the first time in my life, I finally am requesting pain medication).
So fast forward to today. We are awaiting results of the analyses on the samples and the biopsies. It *looks* like what I have is some sort of ulcerative colitis - but it is not typical, meaning they just cannot be sure what has caused it. The good news is that they ruled out all the Really Bad Stuff like viral infection or cancer. So either this is some sort of bacterial thing, or some stress-related condition, or I have overnight developed something like Crohn's (which is simply unacceptable, and I refuse to allow that to happen).
The results of the analyses should come in tomorrow, and I have an appointment with an M.D. Gastrointestinal specialist Tuesday. In the meantime, this weekend has been probably the heaviest "Rest" period I can remember having in my adult life. I haven't done didley squat but sleep and be on the couch. And yesterday, I think it was the first day that I noticed a decline in pain. Whereas before it had been steadily increasing, yesterday I noticed a decrease. And today again, a decrease. I'm still sleepy as all get-out, despite sleeping long, deep, and comfortably. I cannot focus on really doing anything (which mentally is driving my over-achiever, "to do" list maker absolutely bat-shit!), but I know that it is what I need.
It is too early to tell yet, but it *feels* like I am healing slightly. And ya know what - after over a month of this horrible whatever-it-is, I will take a minor little victory. I am willing to let some more days go by of doing nothing and not pushing myself. But let me say this now so that all may know - I refuse - REFUSE - to be held captive by any medical condition. Part of what makes me me is being an overachiever. Yes, I normally burn the candle at both ends. Yes, I typically stress myself out by biting off more than I can chew. And yes, maybe I need to pull back a little bit from that on an ongoing basis. But it is also part of what makes me me. I take pride in being able to do more than the average person. I am NOT your every day kinda Joe. I am not, and I never will be. If I am, you may as well lower me into the grave. Life is too precious and too fantastic to not experience many facets - even if that means enjoying them sometimes at the same time. It is the way that I'm wired and the way that I choose to live my life. Yes, I realize I'm going to have to start listening to my body a little bit more than I used to. And yes, I realize that I am going to have to accept a few limitations going forward. But that it is as far I am willing to go.
This will NOT beat me. I will NOT be held captive by a condition. I am a Portugee, goddamn it, and that means my stubbornness is tougher than steel. I WILL get better and I will return to my life!
