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In memory of Lucinda
Jan. 2nd, 2013 01:01 pmWhile I would love to report on the fun of the weekend with friends and a nice mini-vacation, I’m afraid some rather sad news needs to take priority.
On Saturday morning, I found that my sweet friend, Lucinda, had finally succumbed to her long-term battle with cancer. Like an upset child, I wanted to deny it. Turning on my phone, I had not one but two voice mails – one from her husband, and one from her best friend. I didn’t have to listen to the messages. I knew. I just knew. And maybe if I didn’t listen, or maybe if I didn’t call them back, it simply wouldn’t happen. But, such is never the case. When I called, the awkwardness that I heard on the other line confirmed what I already knew. Peacefully, and quietly, she passed away in her sleep.
I met Lucinda as Mistress Luighseach nic Lochlainn, eleven years ago. For whatever reason, my dear hubby wasn’t able to attend the Kingdom Laurel meeting, so I went solo. I’ll admit, I was nervous. I had never met most of these people before and I wanted to make a good impression while not tripping over myself trying too hard. I stayed close to the few people that I knew while also trying my best to remember the many, many names that came at me. Yet one of them that made a true impression was Luighseach.
I can’t really put my finger on what it was about her that stood out. But I instantly latched onto her. While an older woman, it wasn’t that she felt particularly “matronly” to me. Rather, there was something serene and wise about her. She had this looooooong beautiful mane of silvery hair that framed her serene face and gave her such a look of strength. She spoke quietly, but with strength. And, as I found out later, she was one of those wonderful and loving people that you could count on to do the right thing while also being a “peer who says ‘fuck’”.
Lucinda was the absolute queen of acceptance and transformation, in my eyes. I had no idea that that entire first period of time that I knew her, she was undergoing chemo. It didn’t seem to bother her then. A while later, she jumped to her first bit of transformation – she cut her hair. In a way, I was disappointed. I LOVED her mane. But I have to admit, when she went with that pixie-like cut, she took on this playful and sassy type of persona. And she changed her style of dress to match. In many ways, she was then becoming a bit of a mischievous gal whom you could always count on to mentally go exactly the same place when somebody said something stupid. I learned long ago when trying to keep a poker face NOT to look at Lucinda. Why? Because inevitably, she would also be looking in my direction trying to maintain a poker-face. But the collision usually led to a break-down – typically on my part.
For years we would see each other at events, work together at scriptoriums, and I was always amazed at her zest for life and for learning new things, new techniques, and new concepts. One day, she’d be all over some minutia of calligraphy. Another day, she’d be working on Italian paper marbling. The next day, she’d skip over to Japanese braiding. Being one myself, I LOOOOOVE A.D.D. artistes – they’re my kinda people!
A few years back, she apparently had to go through another bout of chemo – this time a different version. And this time, it was brutal. This time, it would take her hair. Did that stop her? No. If she was going to lose her hair, she would simply adopt a new look. She began dressing very eastern. She began losing weight, and she lost all of her beautiful gray. Sometimes, she would attend events. Other times, she just didn’t have the strength. But when she did, she wouldn’t let her struggle bog her down – it was just a part of life. The amount of peace and wisdom and serenity that emanated from her was just indescribable. It made me WANT to be near her. I would feel just so much at peace around her.
The last time I saw her, I had the feeling that it just might be the last time. She was just so amazingly pale and gaunt. I was chatting with Mistress Brianna about some costuming detail, and Luighseach joined the conversation offering to stand-in for Brianna in a costume class to be a model to demonstrate the functionality of the body – particularly with the shoulder joint. She lowered her dress off the shoulder to reveal JUST how skeletal she had become. This was typical Luighseach! It was one-part shock-value, and another part, “So what? When life gives you lemons, make some really fantastic exotic lemonade”. It took everything I could to barely put on a poker-face of fascination rather than yell, “OH MY GOD! GET TO A HOSPITAL!”
My dear, sweet Lucinda – I still don’t think I am properly processing this yet. I still expect to see you at our next meeting or event. I know that you are no longer in pain and no longer limited by the ravages done to your little body.
I just cannot imagine anything quieting the heartbeat of such a tiger.
On Saturday morning, I found that my sweet friend, Lucinda, had finally succumbed to her long-term battle with cancer. Like an upset child, I wanted to deny it. Turning on my phone, I had not one but two voice mails – one from her husband, and one from her best friend. I didn’t have to listen to the messages. I knew. I just knew. And maybe if I didn’t listen, or maybe if I didn’t call them back, it simply wouldn’t happen. But, such is never the case. When I called, the awkwardness that I heard on the other line confirmed what I already knew. Peacefully, and quietly, she passed away in her sleep.
I met Lucinda as Mistress Luighseach nic Lochlainn, eleven years ago. For whatever reason, my dear hubby wasn’t able to attend the Kingdom Laurel meeting, so I went solo. I’ll admit, I was nervous. I had never met most of these people before and I wanted to make a good impression while not tripping over myself trying too hard. I stayed close to the few people that I knew while also trying my best to remember the many, many names that came at me. Yet one of them that made a true impression was Luighseach.
I can’t really put my finger on what it was about her that stood out. But I instantly latched onto her. While an older woman, it wasn’t that she felt particularly “matronly” to me. Rather, there was something serene and wise about her. She had this looooooong beautiful mane of silvery hair that framed her serene face and gave her such a look of strength. She spoke quietly, but with strength. And, as I found out later, she was one of those wonderful and loving people that you could count on to do the right thing while also being a “peer who says ‘fuck’”.
Lucinda was the absolute queen of acceptance and transformation, in my eyes. I had no idea that that entire first period of time that I knew her, she was undergoing chemo. It didn’t seem to bother her then. A while later, she jumped to her first bit of transformation – she cut her hair. In a way, I was disappointed. I LOVED her mane. But I have to admit, when she went with that pixie-like cut, she took on this playful and sassy type of persona. And she changed her style of dress to match. In many ways, she was then becoming a bit of a mischievous gal whom you could always count on to mentally go exactly the same place when somebody said something stupid. I learned long ago when trying to keep a poker face NOT to look at Lucinda. Why? Because inevitably, she would also be looking in my direction trying to maintain a poker-face. But the collision usually led to a break-down – typically on my part.
For years we would see each other at events, work together at scriptoriums, and I was always amazed at her zest for life and for learning new things, new techniques, and new concepts. One day, she’d be all over some minutia of calligraphy. Another day, she’d be working on Italian paper marbling. The next day, she’d skip over to Japanese braiding. Being one myself, I LOOOOOVE A.D.D. artistes – they’re my kinda people!
A few years back, she apparently had to go through another bout of chemo – this time a different version. And this time, it was brutal. This time, it would take her hair. Did that stop her? No. If she was going to lose her hair, she would simply adopt a new look. She began dressing very eastern. She began losing weight, and she lost all of her beautiful gray. Sometimes, she would attend events. Other times, she just didn’t have the strength. But when she did, she wouldn’t let her struggle bog her down – it was just a part of life. The amount of peace and wisdom and serenity that emanated from her was just indescribable. It made me WANT to be near her. I would feel just so much at peace around her.
The last time I saw her, I had the feeling that it just might be the last time. She was just so amazingly pale and gaunt. I was chatting with Mistress Brianna about some costuming detail, and Luighseach joined the conversation offering to stand-in for Brianna in a costume class to be a model to demonstrate the functionality of the body – particularly with the shoulder joint. She lowered her dress off the shoulder to reveal JUST how skeletal she had become. This was typical Luighseach! It was one-part shock-value, and another part, “So what? When life gives you lemons, make some really fantastic exotic lemonade”. It took everything I could to barely put on a poker-face of fascination rather than yell, “OH MY GOD! GET TO A HOSPITAL!”
My dear, sweet Lucinda – I still don’t think I am properly processing this yet. I still expect to see you at our next meeting or event. I know that you are no longer in pain and no longer limited by the ravages done to your little body.
I just cannot imagine anything quieting the heartbeat of such a tiger.
