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Friendliness
Nov. 19th, 2013 12:50 pmEvery now and again, I come across some article somewhere announcing a city that was determined to be the “Friendliest City in the U.S.” And while I’m sure that it must indeed be a nice place to visit, I can’t help but wonder to myself, “how in the world did somebody determine THAT?!” I mean seriously – what do they do? Send out surveys? Shake hands? Check the amount of light that reflects from the city off of all those shiny white teeth? Friendliness is not something that is particularly easy to judge. But it is something to really consider.
When I initially moved out to California, I remember very clearly making a point to act a little bit more friendly. I don’t know if it was the fear of the unknown, or a pre-disposition to shyness; but in either case, I never really used to be a very friendly person. Typically, for a conversation to begin, the other person would have to initiate it. I didn’t usually speak to strangers. And rarely would I actually engage anybody in contact. But my hubby really changed all that. I noticed that in situations of social interaction, Paul would be very outgoing or initiating of some form of exchange. As a typical example, we might be walking down the street holding a conversation while someone whom we do not know walks towards us. My typical behavior would be to just keep walking, while rarely making eye contact. But not my hubby. Big and imposing as he is, he would stop speaking long enough to make eye contact, smile, and clearly say “Good Morning”. And on more than one occasion, I would catch the temporary look of surprise and confusion in the face of the receiver of such a pleasantry, followed by a polite response. Over time, I realized that this is just a friendly, nice, and pleasant thing to do – and I’ve tried to emulate it ever since.
I don’t think it is that people are, by nature, rude or uncaring. Rather, it is that we find ourselves busy – busy with deadlines, busy with cares, busy with stress, busy with lists. We have groceries to buy, laundry to do, dry-cleaning to pick up, people to take care of, places to be, etc., etc. And in the process of getting wrapped up in life’s demands, I think sometimes we all tend to forget that often it only takes a second to be nice.
Last night, for instance, my hubby and I went to meet some friends at a local restaurant/bar. As we left, the guy at the door said, “Have a good evening,” and we politely responded. But as we left, I caught his face out of the corner of my eye and realized, “Wait a sec… I think we know him.” As we walked a few more steps, it dawned on me. He is one of our new neighbors that we just met the other week. “Oh crap!” I thought to myself. “He might think that we just blew him off!” So we backed up a few paces to see him again, confirm that it was indeed the same guy, chat for a brief moment until we got a really good smile, and then carried on with the evening.
Kindness comes in all forms. Sometimes it takes the form of a check written with a lot of zeros. Other times, it involves hours of knitting or croqueting to create a warm blanket to help someone fight off the winter cold. But more often than not, it can take just a quick moment in the form of a smile, or a handshake or a “Good Morning” or a well-placed compliment. Sometimes giving someone that extra couple of seconds of attention and acknowledgement can go so far not only in terms of making his day a little better, but also your own.
When I initially moved out to California, I remember very clearly making a point to act a little bit more friendly. I don’t know if it was the fear of the unknown, or a pre-disposition to shyness; but in either case, I never really used to be a very friendly person. Typically, for a conversation to begin, the other person would have to initiate it. I didn’t usually speak to strangers. And rarely would I actually engage anybody in contact. But my hubby really changed all that. I noticed that in situations of social interaction, Paul would be very outgoing or initiating of some form of exchange. As a typical example, we might be walking down the street holding a conversation while someone whom we do not know walks towards us. My typical behavior would be to just keep walking, while rarely making eye contact. But not my hubby. Big and imposing as he is, he would stop speaking long enough to make eye contact, smile, and clearly say “Good Morning”. And on more than one occasion, I would catch the temporary look of surprise and confusion in the face of the receiver of such a pleasantry, followed by a polite response. Over time, I realized that this is just a friendly, nice, and pleasant thing to do – and I’ve tried to emulate it ever since.
I don’t think it is that people are, by nature, rude or uncaring. Rather, it is that we find ourselves busy – busy with deadlines, busy with cares, busy with stress, busy with lists. We have groceries to buy, laundry to do, dry-cleaning to pick up, people to take care of, places to be, etc., etc. And in the process of getting wrapped up in life’s demands, I think sometimes we all tend to forget that often it only takes a second to be nice.
Last night, for instance, my hubby and I went to meet some friends at a local restaurant/bar. As we left, the guy at the door said, “Have a good evening,” and we politely responded. But as we left, I caught his face out of the corner of my eye and realized, “Wait a sec… I think we know him.” As we walked a few more steps, it dawned on me. He is one of our new neighbors that we just met the other week. “Oh crap!” I thought to myself. “He might think that we just blew him off!” So we backed up a few paces to see him again, confirm that it was indeed the same guy, chat for a brief moment until we got a really good smile, and then carried on with the evening.
Kindness comes in all forms. Sometimes it takes the form of a check written with a lot of zeros. Other times, it involves hours of knitting or croqueting to create a warm blanket to help someone fight off the winter cold. But more often than not, it can take just a quick moment in the form of a smile, or a handshake or a “Good Morning” or a well-placed compliment. Sometimes giving someone that extra couple of seconds of attention and acknowledgement can go so far not only in terms of making his day a little better, but also your own.
