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Old Pictures
Dec. 19th, 2013 12:34 pmThe other day, I started going through some old journal entries and occasionally ran across some old photos. There’s me and my hubby at a restaurant. Here’s another one of us working on some house project. Oh, and here’s yet another one of us on a vacation. And it makes me think back.
Not long after I came to California, I felt, in a lot of ways, rather shell-shocked. I had just uprooted my life. I had moved out of a large house where I lived alone into a home with lots of people, animals and stuff. And I felt, for a lack of better terms, anxious about my relationship. It wasn’t the relationship itself. It was my age. There I was at 32 starting off a new relationship. And I really resented that part. I didn’t want to be starting a new relationship. I wanted to be well-established in a relationship. I don’t know if that necessarily makes much sense to anybody else, but for me it was huge. I didn’t really want to be viewed by anybody as the “new boyfriend”. Rather, I wanted to just skip ahead to the point where we were already established, already comfortable, and past the point of newness. I don’t know why but for me, such things are important.
Think about it. When you walk into the home of a couple or a family, if you look around you inevitably find pictures. You’ll see perhaps wedding photos. Maybe something from a family gathering or a birthday. And you see the changes they go through in time. You’ll see different fashion. Maybe you’ll see different hairstyles. In this photo he has a beard. In that photo he is clean-shaven. In this picture he wears glasses. In that photo, his grays begin to show.
Now, I am 45 – ready to turn the wheel in a few months to 46. And after 13 years, I am no longer in a “new relationship”. Paul and I have been through many, many chapters together, and continue to look forward to even more adventures. And as I look through the photo albums, I notice changes in our appearance and records of particular points in time.
In short, I feel like I’m finally at the point where I wanted to be when I moved here. And it feels good – really, really, really good!
Not long after I came to California, I felt, in a lot of ways, rather shell-shocked. I had just uprooted my life. I had moved out of a large house where I lived alone into a home with lots of people, animals and stuff. And I felt, for a lack of better terms, anxious about my relationship. It wasn’t the relationship itself. It was my age. There I was at 32 starting off a new relationship. And I really resented that part. I didn’t want to be starting a new relationship. I wanted to be well-established in a relationship. I don’t know if that necessarily makes much sense to anybody else, but for me it was huge. I didn’t really want to be viewed by anybody as the “new boyfriend”. Rather, I wanted to just skip ahead to the point where we were already established, already comfortable, and past the point of newness. I don’t know why but for me, such things are important.
Think about it. When you walk into the home of a couple or a family, if you look around you inevitably find pictures. You’ll see perhaps wedding photos. Maybe something from a family gathering or a birthday. And you see the changes they go through in time. You’ll see different fashion. Maybe you’ll see different hairstyles. In this photo he has a beard. In that photo he is clean-shaven. In this picture he wears glasses. In that photo, his grays begin to show.
Now, I am 45 – ready to turn the wheel in a few months to 46. And after 13 years, I am no longer in a “new relationship”. Paul and I have been through many, many chapters together, and continue to look forward to even more adventures. And as I look through the photo albums, I notice changes in our appearance and records of particular points in time.
In short, I feel like I’m finally at the point where I wanted to be when I moved here. And it feels good – really, really, really good!
