Yoga in Haiku

“Yoga’s just for girls”
“real athletes” don’t do yoga –
Jocks can’t handle it.

Looks easy enough.
Wait… is she double-jointed?
That ain’t natural!

This pose really sucks!
I’m whimpering like a child
Only one pose in.

The sweat stings my eyes
It’ll get easier, right?
Just wishful thinking

My inner child screams
I hate this! It hurts! I quit!
The class continues

This pose is the worst.
No wait. THIS one is the worst.
Oh heck, they all hurt.

Time passes slowly.
In my head I swear madly.
Even sailors blush!

I could leave early…
Or I could fake my own death.
Oh GODS! Not Ab-Work!

Three powerful words,
That help the sun rise again -
“Final resting pose”

Laid out in corpse pose.
In a pool of my own sweat.
Not feeling sexy.

Somehow, I did it!
I pushed myself through the pain.
Too tired to cheer.

I exit the class.
I didn’t think I’d make it.
Huge smile – I DID IT!