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Orlando - as the story unfolds
Jun. 15th, 2016 12:30 pmThroughout the nation, emotions are still very raw over Saturday night’s massacre in Orlando. So many young lives were snuffed out in their prime in a violent and terrifying catastrophe of hatred, judgment, misunderstanding, and horror. As the survivors still hang on in hospitals, and families try their best to put together the pieces of their shattered lives, America still reels in horror and shock. How could this happen? This is America, land of the free! How could this happen HERE? While plans are made to bury and remember the dead, so many find themselves angry, upset, and jumping to extremes demanding answers that are either too slow to surface or (more realistically) will never appear.
What caused this horror? Well, as the news reports flood the mass-media, different theories surface:
The shooter was Muslim. Clearly, he must have become radicalized. So this is obviously a mastermind ISIS plot against the great Satan that is America! To arms! To arms! Block the borders! (At least that is what some believe).
The shooter frequented gay clubs and was on gay apps. So clearly, he was a self-loathing queer who decided to take his self-hatred out on the very group that he simultaneously loved and hated! (At least that is what some believe. Gods only know the extreme right-wing who hate our guts will have a field day with this possibility).
Gays are horrific sinners and deserve to die horrific deaths! Clearly, the shooter was an agent of an angry God, and this travesty should be rejoiced! (At least that is what a few extremists believe).
The shooter had a history of abuse and mental issues, but was easily able to obtain weapons of mass-killing. This is just another example of lunatics getting access to guns and killing random people. So clearly, the problem is with guns and America, and we should just take away all the guns. (At least that is what some believe).
What is the REAL truth? I don’t know. One of the above? Some of the above? I just don’t know. I don’t know all the facts. But neither does anyone else. Nor do I know if anyone really ever will. When it comes down to it – what does it matter now why the shooter did what he did? It won’t bring back those who have fallen. It won’t ease the pain of the families who now must bury their dead. Sure, if we can gather intelligence or take some actions to prevent such things from happening in the future – wonderful! Please GODS, I would love nothing more than if this horror did not simply fade into the history books in vain. It would be a blessing if something good could come out of this. But today is not the day to discuss this. Today is the day to mourn. And it is with that in mind that I address the subject of this post.
In one way or another, everyone has been touched by this tragedy. For those of us in the GLBT community, this is very much a personal tragedy. Just as we make so many strides forward, something like this happens to remind us in an all-too-real way that we are NOT safe. And lemme tell ya, that is a sickening feeling. It is utterly sickening to know that some homophobic asshole could throw a bottle (or worse!) at me and my husband because we walked down the street hand-in-hand like we usually do. And that’s a fear that we face – every single day that we live.
Going to LA Pride on Sunday did not feel anywhere near as much fun as it normally has in the past. Rather than feeling like it would be a fun day to just kick back and relax, it felt to me like I was strapping on a soldier’s kit and that I was destined for the trenches. Sure enough, by the time that I arrived in LA, the news reports were talking about a guy who was arrested with a backpack full of explosives and weapons – and that he was headed to LA Pride. I don’t know what his intended plan was, but I’m all too well aware – I could have been one of the names on the next list of a massacre. Will I let that stop me from living my life exactly as I want to? Excuse my German, but FUCK NO! I refuse! I WILL live my life as I see fit, and I will not give in to the threat of terror! Nor should ANY of us!!!!!!!
But at this time of mourning, I have a request: please show each other respectful
•To my LGBTQXYZ brothers, sisters and everything in between who get angry and lash out at people who want to show sympathy, please don’t. As much as you possibly can, please don’t. No, they may not themselves be gay or lesbians or bi or trans or have ever personally felt stigma or rejection. But that doesn’t mean they can’t feel bad that this happened. It doesn’t mean that they can’t view this tragedy as the tragedy that it is. They are allowed their feelings, and we should respect that.
•To those who are not part of the LGBT community who tell us things like, “I know what you’re feeling and I mourn with you,” or “You’ll get through this. I just know,” please understand – we know – we KNOW that you mean well. Truly. But the fact is, you don’t understand from a personal level what we are going through. With a tip of the hat to Gaga, “Tell me what the hell do you know? Til it happens to you, you don’t know how I feel. Til it happens to you, it won’t be real.” This sentiment is very true. And I won’t be a hypocrite – the fact is that I too don’t know to the full extent how this feels. I have not been dancing happily in a club only to feel the sting of a bullet striking home. I would not presume to say that I know what the victims and the families and friends are going through. My traumas are different. I DO know what it is like to be terrified while standing up for one’s religion even as people who don’t understand are quite literally shooting at you. I DO know what it is like to fight for equality and to open your mail one day only to read a form letter from the government telling you that your marriage to the love of your life has been invalidated by the courts. I DO know what it is like to have bible-thumping radicals screaming on bullhorns and yelling the most hateful things at me just because I love a man. If you asked me to describe to you how any of these things felt to me, I couldn’t. It is physically impossible! I can’t tell you or share with you how it made me feel. Until it happens to you, you won’t know. So please… be sympathetic all you want. Be supportive all you want. Offer lots of hugs or tissues. Make chicken soup if your LGBT friend is crying so much that he can’t cook. But please – be aware that our nerves are very raw right now and that if you come across as “one of us” when you aren’t, you may receive a lash-out simply because we just can’t take it anymore!
•To absolutely EVERYONE out there – when the dust has settled… when the bodies are buried… when we all have finished sweeping up and returning to lives, let us not allow this horrible chapter to further divide us. It is time for us all to come together and embrace what we all have in common. We all love our freedom. We all want families and the ability to love whomever we want. We all have rights, not only as Americans but as human beings. None of us like being told by someone else what to do, what to believe, who to love, how to pray, what to eat, etc. Let us learn to be more civil, more understanding, and to embrace our differences while also respecting them.
Let’s all make a pledge to show each other more love, more compassion, and more understanding.
That and ONLY that is how we should measure the PULSE of America!
What caused this horror? Well, as the news reports flood the mass-media, different theories surface:
The shooter was Muslim. Clearly, he must have become radicalized. So this is obviously a mastermind ISIS plot against the great Satan that is America! To arms! To arms! Block the borders! (At least that is what some believe).
The shooter frequented gay clubs and was on gay apps. So clearly, he was a self-loathing queer who decided to take his self-hatred out on the very group that he simultaneously loved and hated! (At least that is what some believe. Gods only know the extreme right-wing who hate our guts will have a field day with this possibility).
Gays are horrific sinners and deserve to die horrific deaths! Clearly, the shooter was an agent of an angry God, and this travesty should be rejoiced! (At least that is what a few extremists believe).
The shooter had a history of abuse and mental issues, but was easily able to obtain weapons of mass-killing. This is just another example of lunatics getting access to guns and killing random people. So clearly, the problem is with guns and America, and we should just take away all the guns. (At least that is what some believe).
What is the REAL truth? I don’t know. One of the above? Some of the above? I just don’t know. I don’t know all the facts. But neither does anyone else. Nor do I know if anyone really ever will. When it comes down to it – what does it matter now why the shooter did what he did? It won’t bring back those who have fallen. It won’t ease the pain of the families who now must bury their dead. Sure, if we can gather intelligence or take some actions to prevent such things from happening in the future – wonderful! Please GODS, I would love nothing more than if this horror did not simply fade into the history books in vain. It would be a blessing if something good could come out of this. But today is not the day to discuss this. Today is the day to mourn. And it is with that in mind that I address the subject of this post.
In one way or another, everyone has been touched by this tragedy. For those of us in the GLBT community, this is very much a personal tragedy. Just as we make so many strides forward, something like this happens to remind us in an all-too-real way that we are NOT safe. And lemme tell ya, that is a sickening feeling. It is utterly sickening to know that some homophobic asshole could throw a bottle (or worse!) at me and my husband because we walked down the street hand-in-hand like we usually do. And that’s a fear that we face – every single day that we live.
Going to LA Pride on Sunday did not feel anywhere near as much fun as it normally has in the past. Rather than feeling like it would be a fun day to just kick back and relax, it felt to me like I was strapping on a soldier’s kit and that I was destined for the trenches. Sure enough, by the time that I arrived in LA, the news reports were talking about a guy who was arrested with a backpack full of explosives and weapons – and that he was headed to LA Pride. I don’t know what his intended plan was, but I’m all too well aware – I could have been one of the names on the next list of a massacre. Will I let that stop me from living my life exactly as I want to? Excuse my German, but FUCK NO! I refuse! I WILL live my life as I see fit, and I will not give in to the threat of terror! Nor should ANY of us!!!!!!!
But at this time of mourning, I have a request: please show each other respectful
•To my LGBTQXYZ brothers, sisters and everything in between who get angry and lash out at people who want to show sympathy, please don’t. As much as you possibly can, please don’t. No, they may not themselves be gay or lesbians or bi or trans or have ever personally felt stigma or rejection. But that doesn’t mean they can’t feel bad that this happened. It doesn’t mean that they can’t view this tragedy as the tragedy that it is. They are allowed their feelings, and we should respect that.
•To those who are not part of the LGBT community who tell us things like, “I know what you’re feeling and I mourn with you,” or “You’ll get through this. I just know,” please understand – we know – we KNOW that you mean well. Truly. But the fact is, you don’t understand from a personal level what we are going through. With a tip of the hat to Gaga, “Tell me what the hell do you know? Til it happens to you, you don’t know how I feel. Til it happens to you, it won’t be real.” This sentiment is very true. And I won’t be a hypocrite – the fact is that I too don’t know to the full extent how this feels. I have not been dancing happily in a club only to feel the sting of a bullet striking home. I would not presume to say that I know what the victims and the families and friends are going through. My traumas are different. I DO know what it is like to be terrified while standing up for one’s religion even as people who don’t understand are quite literally shooting at you. I DO know what it is like to fight for equality and to open your mail one day only to read a form letter from the government telling you that your marriage to the love of your life has been invalidated by the courts. I DO know what it is like to have bible-thumping radicals screaming on bullhorns and yelling the most hateful things at me just because I love a man. If you asked me to describe to you how any of these things felt to me, I couldn’t. It is physically impossible! I can’t tell you or share with you how it made me feel. Until it happens to you, you won’t know. So please… be sympathetic all you want. Be supportive all you want. Offer lots of hugs or tissues. Make chicken soup if your LGBT friend is crying so much that he can’t cook. But please – be aware that our nerves are very raw right now and that if you come across as “one of us” when you aren’t, you may receive a lash-out simply because we just can’t take it anymore!
•To absolutely EVERYONE out there – when the dust has settled… when the bodies are buried… when we all have finished sweeping up and returning to lives, let us not allow this horrible chapter to further divide us. It is time for us all to come together and embrace what we all have in common. We all love our freedom. We all want families and the ability to love whomever we want. We all have rights, not only as Americans but as human beings. None of us like being told by someone else what to do, what to believe, who to love, how to pray, what to eat, etc. Let us learn to be more civil, more understanding, and to embrace our differences while also respecting them.
Let’s all make a pledge to show each other more love, more compassion, and more understanding.
That and ONLY that is how we should measure the PULSE of America!
