Gen X and Gen Y – what makes us different?

I really need to get this off my chest - I am seriously tired of having certain people try to provoke me into an argument when, in reality, we mostly agree. Bob and I can be on the same side of an issue, and work side by side on the issue. But because Bob believes we need to carry green signs, and I think that blue signs would be more effective, suddenly (in Bob’s view), I am “part of the problem” and “just as bad as those people.” And to that, I have but one thing to say…

What the actual f…??????!!!!!!!!!

Interestingly enough, I find this phenomenon happens more often than not with people who are generationally younger than I am. Perhaps that is purely a coincidence? Or perhaps it really is generational. I don’t really believe in coincidences. So with that in mind, I am going to take the opportunity to provide some insight and education to the younger folks out there.

I am a Gen X’er, and damned proud of it! Like many from my generation, I sometimes look out the window, smile, and think to myself, “who really thought we would still be here?” We are that survivor generation born between the mid-1960’s and late 1970’s. We are a very determined and stubborn lot who rebelled and sought out unique self-expression in our youth – at least as much as we could. But, we were kept back. We were kept back by a lot of things. Technology was nowhere near as advanced as it is today. The concept of having a computer at home was, for most, a dream and a financial impossibility. Heck, I remember when owning a scientific calculator was absolutely cost prohibitive! The most “advanced” technology that was even touchable to me was a Walkman. (Remember those? If you don’t, look it up!) Additionally, we were NOT empowered by older generations to speak our minds or do what we wanted. We were expected – EXPECTED – to do as our older generations told us and to follow the paths they wanted us to follow. Why? Survival. The world was very different back then – and more unstable than most of you can even imagine.

Back then, we didn’t have the internet for distraction or independence. We got our information from the paper, television, or the rumor mill – and every one of those sources always seemed to focus on how close we were to annihilation. It was inescapable and ever-present… so much so that it was “normal.” Theoretically, we got our “escape” from music. But even that didn’t give us escape. So many songs carried an underlying (or not so underlying) theme of the cold war, nuclear demise, and a very bleak future. I know many people from my generation who truly just gave up. They didn’t have plans for the future – because there probably wasn’t going to be one. They didn’t feel a need to try – why put effort into a nuclear winter when you can go and have fun today? To say that it was depressing to be a teenager in the 80’s is a major understatement.

Much to the surprise of many in my generation, the Cold War ended – and we WON! The Soviet Union collapsed, bringing an end to the ever-present fear of the “Red Menace”. And a couple of years later, the Berlin wall came down. We had WON! We were SHOCKED that we won. We hadn’t actually prepared for the unlikely possibility of winning. And it was my generation, who were now in our 20’s, who would get to determine how the next generation would be. And we were NOT going to raise the next generation to feel as suppressed or as stymied as we had been. We would NOT hold the next generation back. We would give them the freedom and opportunity that we never got! We would not deny technology to the next generation. We would give them the tools to progress and move forward! We would not insist that they do or think or act like we did. Even when it got frustration as could be, we would encourage them to think for themselves, argue, and stand up for themselves! And thus, we saw the beginning of Gen Y, known more commonly as Millennials.

Now some of you may think that I have an issue with Millennials. Nothing can be further from the truth. If anything, I admire the sense of determination that Millennials have. I appreciate that Millennials stand up for what they believe in. And I think that Millennials are often more willing to get up, take to the streets, and take action for what they believe than many other generations. But there is one message that I really do want to get across to Millennials…

… sometimes when you are up so high on your soapbox, it becomes difficult for you to see that the person you are screaming at is NOT your enemy.

Look, I know what it is like to be young and full of energy and really super passionate about a subject. I do. I may not be as young or as full of energy as I once was, but I am no less passionate about things that matter to me. Age and experience have taught me that not every single battle is worth fighting, and that sometimes even a battle that IS worth fighting, might be best fought by others who have a better chance of winning. Further, I have realized something that I really want to impart upon younger folks – an “ally” is not someone who agrees with you 100% on every facet of an issue. An ally is someone who works with you on the main issue – the little minor details and fine facets of the issue are just not as important.

Would you rather have a huge army of people unified by a common cause? Or would you rather have a small army of act-alike/think-alike clones because you have driven away many people who would have otherwise been marching with you?

2019 was a very, very hard year for many of us. And even among people with similar philosophies, I have seen (and sometimes been pulled into) online flame-wars between people who agreed on the big issue, but were fighting over minor points. And what did that accomplish? An easy victory for people completely on the other side of the issue. So to those who have made it a habit to jump up on a soapbox to scold people who actually have similar viewpoints, please stop. Just stop. I’m not angry with you. I’m not disappointed in you. I know that what you are doing is based on what you think is right. But you are actually doing more damage to your own cause than good.

Developing alliances is NOT easy. It doesn’t just simply happen. It often takes conversation. It often takes compromise. It takes educating. It takes stating the concept, and possibly restating it in several different ways to get your point across. And sometimes, it takes sucking it up, gritting your teeth, and walking besides somebody who drives you absolutely insane (over a bunch of minor things), because you are both willing to take up arms together on the big issues. That is something that people of my generation understand, and something that the next generation was not forced to learn the way we did.

So in this very rare case, I will pull the age card. Please, respect my experience and what I have seen and gone through and take this advice…

… Learn to choose your battles. Not everything is worth fighting. Do NOT drive away your allies over petty things. Not everyone is going to see/hear/do/think exactly as you do.

Embrace and learn to respect your differences. Then, and ONLY then will you have a united force for progress.