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OK, I gotta admit – maybe this whole social isolation thing is making me a little bit more reflective than normal. For a long time, I have felt like social pressures have taken their toll on me. Every weekend has been busy for me and my hubby. And normally, we have a lot of social engagements, one after another. Since we travel in a few different social circles, we aren’t able to dedicate as much time to each group equally. And what that often means is that at some point, I hear the words, “hey stranger”, or “oh, so you are FINALLY showing up” – you know, the friendly rib-jab that is meant as a joke (mostly)…but still has some basis in fact. And to me, that strikes me to the core. Why? Because many times, I feel completely frazzled and like I have no more time to give to myself, much less to other people. Yet, what I keep *hearing* over and over is that I’m just not doing enough for others. And I dunno why, but it really hurts. I try. I really, really try to be there for people. I do. But as I get older, it is getting tougher to do. And some days, it can just be overwhelming.
To some degree or another, I think everybody needs some “me time”. But I guess I’m just wired a little differently than most people. I don’t need as much social time as many of my friends, but I actively crave solitary time and space. And when I don’t get it, it really messes with me. As far back as I remember, I have always been that way. Yet now, as we all find ourselves forced into social isolation, I have gotten a lot of the Me Time that I have been craving. And for me, it has actually been really good. It has given me time to organize, opportunity to complete some projects that required dedicated hours, and time to reflect. Also, it has given me time to do some self-reflection – particularly in terms of social interactions. And with that in mind, I realize that I have some things to work on when we do return to social interactions. And I also have some apologies to make.
To my family – I’m sorry I don’t reach out more. I love you and do miss you. I will try harder.
To my friends near and far – I hope that you don’t think I’ve forgotten you if you don’t hear from me very often. You are important to me. Please know that.
To those of you out there in Facebook land and the blogosphere – I do try to be clear with my messages. I do. But I’m only human. And sometimes, by trying to deliver a positive message about one thing, I accidentally come across as being critical of another. I don’t mean to do that. But yes, I know that sometimes it happens, and I am sorry. I will try to be better.
To those of you at SCA events who think I have snubbed you or am a total snob – I’m not. Really, I am not. What may look like me being snooty or having a look of disinterest is often what happens when I get socially overwhelmed, and I am scanning the room for an exit door. It isn’t you. It’s me. So for those of you who feel like I have given you stink-eye, I apologize. That was not my intent.
To those of you who have gotten sick of me sounding so political all the time, I’m sorry. I use Facebook to vent. Maybe that isn’t a good thing. But I do find solace in knowing that I’m not the only one who sees things in a particular way. When I get upset, I put my feelings out there. And even if I find myself united in upset, it is still a sense of union – and that gives me comfort. I don’t mean to bring anybody down or to cause anybody any upset. So if/when I do, I apologize.
Obviously, having this extended “me time” has given me time to think – really think – about the person I am, the person I hope to be, and the person who will venture back into society at some point in the (hopefully) not too distant future. And I want to be a better person. I want to be there for my friends and family. And I want to be there for myself. I just have to find the best balance that works for my own sanity and well-being. But that is something I plan to work on.
I hope that when we all get to see each other again, we all practice more patience, more understanding, and more kindness.
We all need it!
To some degree or another, I think everybody needs some “me time”. But I guess I’m just wired a little differently than most people. I don’t need as much social time as many of my friends, but I actively crave solitary time and space. And when I don’t get it, it really messes with me. As far back as I remember, I have always been that way. Yet now, as we all find ourselves forced into social isolation, I have gotten a lot of the Me Time that I have been craving. And for me, it has actually been really good. It has given me time to organize, opportunity to complete some projects that required dedicated hours, and time to reflect. Also, it has given me time to do some self-reflection – particularly in terms of social interactions. And with that in mind, I realize that I have some things to work on when we do return to social interactions. And I also have some apologies to make.
To my family – I’m sorry I don’t reach out more. I love you and do miss you. I will try harder.
To my friends near and far – I hope that you don’t think I’ve forgotten you if you don’t hear from me very often. You are important to me. Please know that.
To those of you out there in Facebook land and the blogosphere – I do try to be clear with my messages. I do. But I’m only human. And sometimes, by trying to deliver a positive message about one thing, I accidentally come across as being critical of another. I don’t mean to do that. But yes, I know that sometimes it happens, and I am sorry. I will try to be better.
To those of you at SCA events who think I have snubbed you or am a total snob – I’m not. Really, I am not. What may look like me being snooty or having a look of disinterest is often what happens when I get socially overwhelmed, and I am scanning the room for an exit door. It isn’t you. It’s me. So for those of you who feel like I have given you stink-eye, I apologize. That was not my intent.
To those of you who have gotten sick of me sounding so political all the time, I’m sorry. I use Facebook to vent. Maybe that isn’t a good thing. But I do find solace in knowing that I’m not the only one who sees things in a particular way. When I get upset, I put my feelings out there. And even if I find myself united in upset, it is still a sense of union – and that gives me comfort. I don’t mean to bring anybody down or to cause anybody any upset. So if/when I do, I apologize.
Obviously, having this extended “me time” has given me time to think – really think – about the person I am, the person I hope to be, and the person who will venture back into society at some point in the (hopefully) not too distant future. And I want to be a better person. I want to be there for my friends and family. And I want to be there for myself. I just have to find the best balance that works for my own sanity and well-being. But that is something I plan to work on.
I hope that when we all get to see each other again, we all practice more patience, more understanding, and more kindness.
We all need it!
