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On Being an Ally – in the Trenches
Sep. 30th, 2020 01:50 pmWhether we refer to allies as “accomplices” or “supporters” or “cheerleaders”, or anything like that, what truly makes an “Ally” is one thing and one thing only - action. Not words… Not posts… Not Facebook likes… but ACTION.
I think this concept got hammered home for me back in the 80’s. The first time I really felt the need to stand up for something that I believed in involved religion. I had been studying a Wiccan path for a bit (waaaaaay before most people had ever heard the word), but was really getting tired of running into dead ends or roadblocks. Trying to find others who believed as I did was hard. Why? Because so many people were in the broom closet. All jokes aside, there were many people who were afraid – REALLY afraid – of people finding out that they were not Christian. With so much misinformation and paranoia out in the ignorant world, many who shared my beliefs feared losing their jobs (many did), being turned out by their families (I know some who were), and coming under physical attack (yup, that happened). So I went public – VERY public – about my beliefs – to teach and to (hopefully) give people a sense that it was ok to be public about one’s pagan path. This made me somewhat of a public figure, and let me tell ya – there were times that I was afraid – VERY afraid – of coming under physical attack. But this is America – land of the free – where freedom of religion is a right. And I wasn’t going to let ignorance and fear prevent me from exercising that right. On more than one occasion, I said to myself, “If this is my last day, so be it! I will go out being true to what I believe.”
The 80’s were a pretty turbulent time – particularly in the bible belt of the south. And another political arena that I chose to walk into involved that of women’s reproductive rights. As a pagan, I believe in Karma and in reincarnation. I fully believe that people come back over and over until we are able to experience all aspects of life and learn everything there is to know – and that cannot be done in one lifetime. And to interfere with that person’s path is to interfere with karma. Now, in and of itself, that could come across as an argument against abortion. But it isn’t. Is it interrupting somebody’s karma? Well, possibly. But at the same time, that unborn soul will, I believe, go on – having another experience. But to mess with the woman’s body and the woman’s choice? Now THAT is an interruption of karma! And to be very blunt, I cannot see how anybody can proclaim to believe in a feminine form of deity while not recognizing and supporting a person’s right to decide what is best for their own body and self.
Near my campus stood a woman’s health clinic. But like many clinics, it was simply labeled an “abortion clinic.” Did they perform abortions? Well, yes. But that was not the only thing they did. They offered other health services (such as cancer screenings). They offered counseling. And they offered many women’s health services that other medical facilities either would not offer or would stigmatize so badly as to discourage women from pursuing. As you can probably imagine, this clinic had been vandalized, set afire, attacked, etc. So I found myself out there on the weekends (when I really should have been studying), safely escorting women in and out of the clinic, standing nose to nose against protesters who were holding signs showing aborted fetuses, and ready to have chicken blood (at least I think it was chicken) splashed at me by protesters who believed they were doing the Lord’s work. Was it scary? Well, yes. It was. Nobody wants to have questionable red liquid splashed on them. But I reminded myself – no fear that I felt could possibly compare to the emotional overload of the woman who decided that she needed to use that clinic. So many of those women seemed nearly catatonic – oblivious to what was happening around them. And I have never forgotten that, and am proud that I could have been there to help them in their times of need.
I make no buts about how I feel regarding racial inequality in this nation. It is DISGUSTING! If I had my way, we would all simply be viewed by our merits – not how we worshipped, who we loved, the color of our skin, our gender, our age, or anything else. And I am glad that many in this nation are waking up to this fact. I have marched with All Black Lives Matter movements, and cannot emphasize enough that the color of somebody’s skin should NOT result in judgment, violence, or any other type of disadvantage. But I’m also going to say what some might view as an unpopular opinion – I do NOT appreciate the politics of the “Black Lives Matter” movement. Case in point – BLM had been invited to join in the Pride march in Toronto a couple of years ago. But BLM was angry because the Pride committee had invited the police to march with them. (Let’s remember – Pride parades sometimes experience violence from homophobic bigots. So a police presence is typically appreciated). But the BLM movement insisted that Pride either disinvite the police OR they would put everything they could into boycotting the Pride activities. WTF? That pissed me off! It is not a competition as to who has suffered more suppression. Suppression in any form sucks. But I viewed that move by BLM as an attempt to co-opt an event that was designed to raise awareness for another downtrodden group. And that is NOT ok.
“Black Lives Matter” and “All Black Lives Matter” are not the same. And one of the key differences, as the name implies, is that the latter group puts the emphasis on all blacks – which includes those who are gay, transgendered, mixed-race, etc. While I am supportive of people of color, I will also say this – some of the worst gay bashing and violence happens within specifically the black community. Now I have heard all kinds of rationalizations about this as to why the black community is so homophobic. But ya know what? If we expect American to wake up to the unfair treatment that black people have received, I think it only fair that the black community do a significant look into their own culture and clean house a bit. This gay man supports people of color. But I cannot in good conscience support the downtrodden only to see that same group turn around and persecute some of their own because of some arbitrary “difference”. I do believe that everybody should be given a chance – and by everybody, I mean EVERYBODY – not just those who look like me, or act like me, or believe like me, or worship like me, or love like me, etc. ALL. And I will continue to lend my voice, my hands, my actions, my presence, my body, my strength and my support to those who need it the most right now. Sometimes, that has been the religious minority. Sometimes, that has been women. Sometimes, that has been people of color.
Anyway – my point in this ramble? I know many people out there who consider themselves “allies”. But without the work, there is no accomplishment. It isn’t about words. It is about action. And sometimes, taking action involves facing fears, facing anger, and facing potential danger. While I personally weigh out potential risk versus potential impact, I am content with myself knowing that I have put myself out there in harm’s way on more than one occasion to do what was right. And today, just like then, I believe “If this is my last day, so be it! I will go out being true to what I believe.”
I think this concept got hammered home for me back in the 80’s. The first time I really felt the need to stand up for something that I believed in involved religion. I had been studying a Wiccan path for a bit (waaaaaay before most people had ever heard the word), but was really getting tired of running into dead ends or roadblocks. Trying to find others who believed as I did was hard. Why? Because so many people were in the broom closet. All jokes aside, there were many people who were afraid – REALLY afraid – of people finding out that they were not Christian. With so much misinformation and paranoia out in the ignorant world, many who shared my beliefs feared losing their jobs (many did), being turned out by their families (I know some who were), and coming under physical attack (yup, that happened). So I went public – VERY public – about my beliefs – to teach and to (hopefully) give people a sense that it was ok to be public about one’s pagan path. This made me somewhat of a public figure, and let me tell ya – there were times that I was afraid – VERY afraid – of coming under physical attack. But this is America – land of the free – where freedom of religion is a right. And I wasn’t going to let ignorance and fear prevent me from exercising that right. On more than one occasion, I said to myself, “If this is my last day, so be it! I will go out being true to what I believe.”
The 80’s were a pretty turbulent time – particularly in the bible belt of the south. And another political arena that I chose to walk into involved that of women’s reproductive rights. As a pagan, I believe in Karma and in reincarnation. I fully believe that people come back over and over until we are able to experience all aspects of life and learn everything there is to know – and that cannot be done in one lifetime. And to interfere with that person’s path is to interfere with karma. Now, in and of itself, that could come across as an argument against abortion. But it isn’t. Is it interrupting somebody’s karma? Well, possibly. But at the same time, that unborn soul will, I believe, go on – having another experience. But to mess with the woman’s body and the woman’s choice? Now THAT is an interruption of karma! And to be very blunt, I cannot see how anybody can proclaim to believe in a feminine form of deity while not recognizing and supporting a person’s right to decide what is best for their own body and self.
Near my campus stood a woman’s health clinic. But like many clinics, it was simply labeled an “abortion clinic.” Did they perform abortions? Well, yes. But that was not the only thing they did. They offered other health services (such as cancer screenings). They offered counseling. And they offered many women’s health services that other medical facilities either would not offer or would stigmatize so badly as to discourage women from pursuing. As you can probably imagine, this clinic had been vandalized, set afire, attacked, etc. So I found myself out there on the weekends (when I really should have been studying), safely escorting women in and out of the clinic, standing nose to nose against protesters who were holding signs showing aborted fetuses, and ready to have chicken blood (at least I think it was chicken) splashed at me by protesters who believed they were doing the Lord’s work. Was it scary? Well, yes. It was. Nobody wants to have questionable red liquid splashed on them. But I reminded myself – no fear that I felt could possibly compare to the emotional overload of the woman who decided that she needed to use that clinic. So many of those women seemed nearly catatonic – oblivious to what was happening around them. And I have never forgotten that, and am proud that I could have been there to help them in their times of need.
I make no buts about how I feel regarding racial inequality in this nation. It is DISGUSTING! If I had my way, we would all simply be viewed by our merits – not how we worshipped, who we loved, the color of our skin, our gender, our age, or anything else. And I am glad that many in this nation are waking up to this fact. I have marched with All Black Lives Matter movements, and cannot emphasize enough that the color of somebody’s skin should NOT result in judgment, violence, or any other type of disadvantage. But I’m also going to say what some might view as an unpopular opinion – I do NOT appreciate the politics of the “Black Lives Matter” movement. Case in point – BLM had been invited to join in the Pride march in Toronto a couple of years ago. But BLM was angry because the Pride committee had invited the police to march with them. (Let’s remember – Pride parades sometimes experience violence from homophobic bigots. So a police presence is typically appreciated). But the BLM movement insisted that Pride either disinvite the police OR they would put everything they could into boycotting the Pride activities. WTF? That pissed me off! It is not a competition as to who has suffered more suppression. Suppression in any form sucks. But I viewed that move by BLM as an attempt to co-opt an event that was designed to raise awareness for another downtrodden group. And that is NOT ok.
“Black Lives Matter” and “All Black Lives Matter” are not the same. And one of the key differences, as the name implies, is that the latter group puts the emphasis on all blacks – which includes those who are gay, transgendered, mixed-race, etc. While I am supportive of people of color, I will also say this – some of the worst gay bashing and violence happens within specifically the black community. Now I have heard all kinds of rationalizations about this as to why the black community is so homophobic. But ya know what? If we expect American to wake up to the unfair treatment that black people have received, I think it only fair that the black community do a significant look into their own culture and clean house a bit. This gay man supports people of color. But I cannot in good conscience support the downtrodden only to see that same group turn around and persecute some of their own because of some arbitrary “difference”. I do believe that everybody should be given a chance – and by everybody, I mean EVERYBODY – not just those who look like me, or act like me, or believe like me, or worship like me, or love like me, etc. ALL. And I will continue to lend my voice, my hands, my actions, my presence, my body, my strength and my support to those who need it the most right now. Sometimes, that has been the religious minority. Sometimes, that has been women. Sometimes, that has been people of color.
Anyway – my point in this ramble? I know many people out there who consider themselves “allies”. But without the work, there is no accomplishment. It isn’t about words. It is about action. And sometimes, taking action involves facing fears, facing anger, and facing potential danger. While I personally weigh out potential risk versus potential impact, I am content with myself knowing that I have put myself out there in harm’s way on more than one occasion to do what was right. And today, just like then, I believe “If this is my last day, so be it! I will go out being true to what I believe.”
