The Damage has been done

Three years ago, despite the lies being spouted by T**** and his sycophants, we learned about a world-wide pandemic, the likes of which we had not seen in quite some time. Comparing it to HIV or the Influenza epidemics of history, nobody really had an idea what we were in for. Every single one of us was at risk of catching a potentially deadly disease. Yet, there were SOOOOOO many armchair experts, spouting misinformation, lies, and a complete disregard for science and medicine.

For my part, I tried – I REALLY, REALLY TRIED – to remain civil, and to share accurate information. Working for County health care, I had some good insights into what was going on locally. And as I saw the numbers rising, it was clear to see that we were approaching our cap in terms of hospital beds. And because of my real-world training, I know what that means. There isn’t a magical solution. Hospitals cannot just “create” more beds, more equipment, more doctors, and more care management. Medical professionals began to scream that they needed more help and more resources. I worked furiously at my job suddenly having to source supplies that I had never heard of just to help. And I worried so much when I saw different areas of the country hit and exceed their capacity – meaning many would die simply because they couldn’t even be seen. And here in Orange County – a very densely populated and advanced county, we came close – DANGEROUSLY CLOSE – to hitting our capacity. Yet, I too began to feel the vilification from people who either “Just didn’t want to hear about it”, or those who thought I was blowing things out of proportion. And yes, I am still so ANGRY about this, and I can’t just “let it go” – or at least I haven’t yet been able to – even with therapy.

More than any other single thing I have personally experienced in my life, Covid really taught me something. The masks came off (pun fully intended). And I really got to see with my own eyes that people were falling into one of two categories – those who saw the big picture who also cared about the well-being of others; and those whose only concern was about themselves – THEIR freedoms, or THEIR liberties, or THEIR rights to walk around without a mask in every location - everybody else be damned.

NOBODY wanted to have close-downs!
NOBODY wanted to have to isolate!
NOBODY wanted ANY of that!

But there were many who realized we had to just suck it up because the enemy was the disease, not the government. And then there were those who acted like petulant children, who wouldn’t do a single thing they were advised to do. And the infections spread. How many people with high-risk health died unnecessarily because of the “I don’t give a damn about anybody else” attitudes? Had it not been for the vaccine, who can even imagine how much worse it would have gotten?

I lost people. I lost incredibly dear people to the disease. But I also lost people because I saw who they really are – purely selfish and uncaring. And while I can “agree to disagree” with people over many issues, this is one where I cannot just forgive and forget. Selfishness caused other people to suffer.

So now we are technically past the emergency. The disease IS still out there and IS still a risk, though not as much as it once was, thanks to science, immunization, and enough people being smart. But the damage has been done, and there is no going back. In this nation right now, we are still divided. I don’t want to say that we are divided between red and blue, because those are just colors. What I see is a division between those who care about others versus those who only care about themselves. Right now, we are living in a topsy-turvey reality that is going backwards. Every day, I read about more and more people’s basic rights as Americans being ripped away because a minority want to impose their way-of-life on all. Women’s basic rights are being ripped away. LGBTQI+ rights are being ripped away. Heck, anybody who isn’t Christian (or more likely POSING as a Christian), are treated like crap. (Gee, I wonder what Jesus would think of that?) And that is not something I can just ignore – nor would I want to.

Until the day comes that T**** and his group of lying sycophants are driven out of the public limelight, we are still in danger in this nation. Lies don’t just have consequences – they have already caused a tremendous amount of damage, getting a little bit worse day by day, until there is a reconning.

I am not ok. I have not been ok since I first began seeing this with my own eyes. And I don’t think I will be ok until this is all over. I have pulled back from so many things, so many people, so many activities, and even from doing something simple like blogging. Why? Because I have become so disenchanted with particular people whom I used to admire, respect, and like.

The damage is done. There is no going back. There is only forward momentum. And I am afraid of what is to happen next.