storytimewithjoe

What makes a person unique? Genetics? Nature? Nurture? Pre-destination? Fate? Karma? Maybe a little of all of the above? What makes two babies who were born at the same time on the same day, turn into two very different people? One moment, they sleep peacefully next to each other without a care in the world. Then, thirty years later, one sits in a fine leather chair in his high-rise attorney’s office while smoking a cigar and swirling brandy in its snifter, while the other runs down an alley, trying to dodge police after a drug-related shoot-out. These two could not be more different. One lives off the fat of the land, while the other faces a daily torment known simply as survival. Yet, decades before, they were effectively the same.

Is it simply a matter of education? Every culture has its own rules of etiquette. In one culture, for instance, belching loudly at the finish of a meal is considered a compliment to the cook. In another, it is a sign of the unrefined. Yet, why should it actually mean anything? It is a somewhat involuntary bodily function. Should a sneeze mean something? A cough? A yawn? A twitch?

In another culture, it is considered an insult to oneself and one’s family to pass a bowl down the table without offering it with both hands. But why? Why is it considered rude to have one’s elbows on the table? Why is so much emphasis placed upon performing particular actions that may or may not carry anything more than a symbolic meaning – if that? Rules of polite etiquette are simply part of the cultural memory and need to be taught to newer generations if the behaviors are to continue. There is nothing inherent about them. One is not born with an innate knowledge that a one-handed bowl pass is an insult.

But then there are the inherent rules that are not really taught – kindness, thoughtfulness, love, or the need to nurture. Oh sure, cultures may or may not encourage these things. But ultimately, these things are as distinct for each person as their DNA. Some people, as children, show an inherent sense of nurturing. Whether it be the desire to care for another living creature or for an inanimate object, it simply exists for some people and not for others – regardless of what the culture encourages as a whole. Walk into a daycare facility sometime and you will see clear examples of real, uncorrupted-by-culture human behavior. You will see the calm and serene child who meticulously works to create and care for some art project or tower made from building blocks. Then along comes the Destroyer – the hyper child who enjoys nothing more than his own destructive capabilities. Both children will be taught the rules of the culture. Both will be taught not to slouch. Both will be taught not to put his elbows on the table. Both will be taught to be gentle when playing with a puppy. Yet, one will have a much more difficult time adapting his behavior to these rules than the other. But why?

Is a personality truly a blank slate when one is born? Many believe that it is. Not me. I believe that the soul carries on from lifetime to lifetime. With a world as large as our own, with so many things to life through and to experience, I find it unimaginable to think that a soul should live ONLY for a window of time in one place. What is the point? Why should a soul be born only in a third world country to live a miserable life and to starve to death as a child. Why? Why should a person with an ingenious mind be born at a time when the technology is too primitive for his or her mind to properly benefit the world? Why? I believe that ultimately, our personalities are already there – as distinct as our DNA. Yet, each time we come back, our cultures shape and mold the personality. One can be inherently gentle, but be taught to fight. Most likely, that person will resort to fighting only as a last resort when reason fails. An inherently violent person will be encouraged by society to behave quietly and calmly. Yet, with only slight provocation, that violent tendency comes out.