Random mutterings of an A.D.D. brain

Feeling somewhat rested after a good night’s sleep, my mind wanders as I go about the routine of the 8 to 5 professional world. Yet, how much has happened in our history to lead us to this point? Just 100 years ago, not even a blink of the eye in terms of time, this entire area was so very, very different. While shadows of the past still exist, providing both a window into the past (or in our case a roof over our heads), how different was the world then?

People here didn’t fear the Muslim world. They feared the growing threat of military might in Europe.

They didn’t fear Bird Flu. They feared Influenza.

They wouldn’t have been able to handle the idea of gay-marriage. They were too busy resisting recognizing women’s right to vote.

They viewed themselves as modern and progressive. Yet, could they even have imagined the world of today? Hmmmm…

Perhaps these historical mutterings stem from last night. On our date-night, we went to see Apocalypto. (Worry not, I will not be providing any spoilers). Instead, let us just say that I would not really describe this movie as a particularly ideal one for a “date night.” We didn’t leave the theater feeling giggly, or holding hands in giddy joy. It was a brilliant movie. But… just not ideal for a “date night.”

Oddly, it left me craving a steak… rare! Hmmm… I wonder why?

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me.

As is often the case when my dear hubby and I find time to spend alone on the couch together, we found ourselves in the midst of a good discussion. And like many of our discussions, I have found myself thinking back upon it and formulating a few additional thoughts and ideas. The subject of the conversation? As the title for this posting implies, it has to do with respect.

One of my New Year’s resolutions involved becoming less judgmental of people. Or in the very least, being less upset when someone (myself included) doesn’t reach a particular level or expectation that should have been reached. Yes, I realize that I could stand to be softer and more accepting of human foibles. Yet, the trade-off for this involves one key point – respect. I find that I am more forgiving if the foible is more the exception than the rule. If, for instance, a person is typically punctual, but on an odd occasion, just happened to have been late, I am fine with that. Hey, sh$* happens, right? Yet, if someone is constantly, constantly late, and it throws my plans off, I’m gonna be mad.

Tied in to this concept is the question of respect. Out of respect for people, I am making a point to try to be more forgiving. But the trade-off for this in my book is simple – ya gotta earn it. I realize that this may sound arrogant. And if it does, so be it. There are very few things that anyone has the power to just turn around and “Give” to another human being. My time is one of those precious few things. My respect is another. And should either be given lightly? Heck no.

When should that respect be given? Well… it depends. Whether it be in the work world, or in the SCA, or family, or in any other level of my weird and varied social circle, I have learned that “titles” or “positions” do not in and of themselves earn my respect. Take the SCA, for instance. If the individual carries the title “King”, or “Duchess” or “Master” or any of the above, does this mean that I should automatically defer to that person or that they are worth my time? Heck no. There are some people who, by the very nature of what they have accomplished and learned, have earned my respect and I will give them my ear. Yet other times, people with the same or a higher title begin to speak and I roll my eyes and look for an escape whether it be an open door, an open window, or opening my own veins. A title don’t mean squat. What do you KNOW, what do you DO, and does it serve more than just YOU?!

Should a Manager at work automatically receive your respect? Well, no. Now, I’m not saying that one should be insubordinate, as Career Limiting Moves (CLM’s) are not smart for self-preservation. Yet in the work place, I further believe that respect is something that should be earned and not automatically assumed. I remember back a couple of jobs ago, working at an I.T. company from hell. I worked there for a long time – over a decade. And rarely did I have a manager that I respected. They didn’t earn it. They didn’t deserve it. They got from me what they asked for, and no more. Very few of them made it there long. Was it their attitude? Could be.

How about a Teacher? This one gets tricky. For me, a Teacher gains my respect from the beginning simply because he or she is taking the time to share knowledge and wisdom to hopefully make you a better person. You are in the teacher’s classroom, and as such, that teacher deserves your respect. But what about when the teacher turns out to be a real bozo? Ever had an instructor that frankly had no idea what the heck he was talking about? Guess what? Hear that flushing sound? That is the sound of my respect for you going down the toilet.

I know I can come across like a really arrogant putz sometimes. And sometimes I can come across like an inarticulate immature brat. Yet despite these foibles, I am a good person, and I try my best to make a difference in a positive way. My time is valuable, and my respect is valuable. If you prove yourself in my eyes, I will share with you the most valuable things that I have. If you don’t, that is also your choice. Just don’t act all bent out of shape if I don’t stop to pay heed to you.

Want my time?
Want my respect?

They ain’t free. You have to earn it.