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I’ll admit I’ve been rather quiet lately. Quiet and a bit reflective.
Since October, my weekends have been taking me away to distant places. The only “rest” weekend for me will be Thanksgiving (if indeed cooking for people is restful). Then it is back to the craze until mid-December. Thus, I have really needed the week to rest up and recoup. I’m not complaining, mind you. I really do enjoy having a crazy-fun life!!!!! I meet interesting people, do fun things, and never get bored. But if I could wave a magic wand, the one thing I’d want (aside from shedding about 7 to 10 pounds of pure belly fat), would be to suddenly give myself more energy.
I’m noticing at this phase of my life that, like it or not, I simply need to rest a bit more than I used to. Like a middle-aged rubber band, my bounce-back simply doesn’t bounce back the way it used to. This conflicts directly with my “Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night” mentality. The part of my brain that is still 29-and-holding is saying, “Come ON! It’s yoga night! Let’s GO! Let’s MOVE! Go! Go! Go!” But then, there is the reality. I start yawning. My eyes itch and want nothing more than to close. My knees ache. My back aches. And my joints make cracking sounds much louder than they used to.
My hubby, along with those few friends who really have visibility to the full-picture that is my life think I’m too hard on myself, and that I push myself too hard. And who knows? Maybe they’re right. Paul has told me in the recent past, in a completely non-critical way, that I seem extra-driven and that he cannot really wrap his head around why I always seem so driven to do, driven to push, driven to accomplish and complete. And ya know… honestly… neither do I. To me, it just seems, I dunno, natural. I have never been known for my patience. I don’t want to wait to see how something turns out. I want to see the results NOW, NOW, NOW! I guess that’s just how I’m hard-wired. Thus, the conflict hits between what I WANT to see happen versus what my body is willing to do at that particular time.
But… I’m learning. I’m learning to rest. I’m learning to ease up a bit. I’m learning that the sun will indeed still rise if I didn’t check all of the items off of my “to do list” for a particular day.
I just don’t like it.
Since October, my weekends have been taking me away to distant places. The only “rest” weekend for me will be Thanksgiving (if indeed cooking for people is restful). Then it is back to the craze until mid-December. Thus, I have really needed the week to rest up and recoup. I’m not complaining, mind you. I really do enjoy having a crazy-fun life!!!!! I meet interesting people, do fun things, and never get bored. But if I could wave a magic wand, the one thing I’d want (aside from shedding about 7 to 10 pounds of pure belly fat), would be to suddenly give myself more energy.
I’m noticing at this phase of my life that, like it or not, I simply need to rest a bit more than I used to. Like a middle-aged rubber band, my bounce-back simply doesn’t bounce back the way it used to. This conflicts directly with my “Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night” mentality. The part of my brain that is still 29-and-holding is saying, “Come ON! It’s yoga night! Let’s GO! Let’s MOVE! Go! Go! Go!” But then, there is the reality. I start yawning. My eyes itch and want nothing more than to close. My knees ache. My back aches. And my joints make cracking sounds much louder than they used to.
My hubby, along with those few friends who really have visibility to the full-picture that is my life think I’m too hard on myself, and that I push myself too hard. And who knows? Maybe they’re right. Paul has told me in the recent past, in a completely non-critical way, that I seem extra-driven and that he cannot really wrap his head around why I always seem so driven to do, driven to push, driven to accomplish and complete. And ya know… honestly… neither do I. To me, it just seems, I dunno, natural. I have never been known for my patience. I don’t want to wait to see how something turns out. I want to see the results NOW, NOW, NOW! I guess that’s just how I’m hard-wired. Thus, the conflict hits between what I WANT to see happen versus what my body is willing to do at that particular time.
But… I’m learning. I’m learning to rest. I’m learning to ease up a bit. I’m learning that the sun will indeed still rise if I didn’t check all of the items off of my “to do list” for a particular day.
I just don’t like it.
