storytimewithjoe | Why worry?

As I readied for the hustle and bustle of work this morning, I noticed a voicemail on my phone. 3 of 5 had called me at some point last night in a happy stupor having learned that her medical worries were for naught. This was, of course, wonderful news and I called her immediately to share in the relief.

As a safe rule of thumb, one can say that my siblings and I are different – very different. Each of our personalities, while strong, bears very little resemblance to the others. Of the five of us, I probably share the most in common with 3 of 5. We both have active imaginations which include a love of fantasy and folklore. We both go through spastic energy bouts which drive other people crazy. And we both have a natural predisposition to worrying. With the worrying comes all of the other negatives – lack of sleep, loss of concentration, physical illness, headaches, irrational behavior, etc., etc.

When I was a kid, I worried – a LOT. In Elementary and Middle school, it did not take much of anything to send me into a panic of insecurity. Our mother, who had tried just about everything to calm me down, finally began to get frustrated with my panic attacks, which she was simply unable to prevent. I recall her once comparing me to 3 of 5 who apparently used to exhibit much of the same behavior before I came along.

As an adult, that predisposition still exists. If things don’t go EXACTLY as I had expected them to go, my natural inclination is to worry, fret, and in extreme cases, panic. But natural inclinations aside, one does have a choice. One does not HAVE to react in such a way. One does not HAVE to travel down such a dark road. There are alternatives.

Years ago, I remember either reading or seeing something about the Dalai Lama. As complex a man as he must be, some of his lessons are so incredibly simple. Of course, sometimes the simple lessons are the most elusive. “Why worry?” he asks. “If there is a solution to the problem, you will find it. Worrying will not help you find the solution. If there is not a solution to the problem, do not worry. Worrying will not help you if there is no solution.” It was as if my subconscious came bursting forward with a very loud, “McDUH!!!!!!!!!!” Since that day, I have made a conscious effort not to worry. This is not to say that I am unconcerned over situations. But worried? Not as much. I am not always successful, but I have found that, for the most part, I am a much calmer and happier person than I used to be.

Sometimes good things happen. Sometimes bad. Worrying is guaranteed to only make things worse. Complicating the situation by causing an ulcer is not a wise decision. Bobby McFarren is right. “Don’t Worry. Be Happy.” Not just a catchy 80’s flashback – a lifestyle.