Art Speak

[storytimewithjoe]

Happy Beltane everybody!  Be happy and fertile (in your creativity, that is).

 

Each of us, in our own way, has some form of geekdom.  (I geek, you geek, etc.)  My geekdom?  Oh, where to even begin…Being an artsy kinda guy, I love to putter around with various types of art.  Inevitably, whenever someone begins to progress and seriously pursue a type of art form, he or she crosses what seems like an invisible esoteric barrier that separates most people (NORMAL people) from the ubergeek who completely drools over this kind of art.  And what happens when two GSI’s (Geeks of Similar Interest) get together?  Aside from the combined forces of geekdom, a conversation will form comprised predominately of that odd combination of linguistics known as “art speak.” 

 

Now, what do I mean by “art speak?”

 

Art speak refers to the free flow of artsy terms and concepts without explanation.  Presumably, art speak is used in conversations involving a person or persons who actually KNOW what you are talking about.  Why?  Because ya can!  If your conversation happened to gear itself towards someone outside of your genre, you would probably say things a little bit differently.  But because you have this rare moment to geek out in geek-speak with a fellow geek, you decide to… well… get your geek on.  This doesn’t happen necessarily out of snobbery.  It happens simply because the opportunity rarely presents itself.  And when it does, it feels great! 

 

As an example, I really enjoy historical dance forms.  Studying 15^th century dance simply fascinates me.  Does it fascinate the majority of people?  HELL NO!  Why should it?  Even most of the people who enjoy partaking in it probably don’t necessarily want to really STUDY it.  To draw a parallel, take modern contra, country, line, or square dancing.  Of the people who enjoy doing it, how many really want to study or analyze it?  Some do – but not most.  Most probably want to have fun doing it while someone else calls it, which is absolutely fine.  They don’t necessarily want to memorize, or study.  But a few weird and happy people do.  Thus, an invisible barrier begins to form between those who just have fun doing it, and those who have fun doing it AND become passionate about it. 

 

Now, what happens when you get two of those geeks together for a discussion?  After a while, they will probably find themselves involved in an intense dialogue over one weird little facet.  As their conversation moves to a higher and higher level, the people around them get bored or confused, or frankly just don’t care.  “There they go again,” someone eventually says, as everyone smiles at the play out of Geek v. Geek.

 

Art speak happens.  And art speak really SHOULD happen in a sincere context.  Butcha know what really chaps my calzi?  FAKE art speak.  Sometimes, the art just ain’t art.  Sometimes, a descriptive that sounds like an unnecessarily big and pompous word really IS just an unnecessarily big and pompous word.  Sometimes, people want so badly to appear like a big fish that they create their own fake little pond.  Through their insincere actions and creative use of big flippers, they manage to fool some people.  Please allow me to illustrate and translate…

 

Observer:  What a fascinating composition! 

(WTF is it?)

 

Art East:  How astute of you to notice. 

(Oh good… a lackey).

 

Observer:  This piece has such movement! 

(Did you smash a grapefruit on canvas?)

 

Art East:  It blends a jejune organic with a multifarious medium. 

(I smashed a grapefruit on canvas).

 

Observer:  What served as your inspiration? 

(WTF were you thinking?)

 

Art East:  3^rd world post-industrialism tangoed with the rage of a rising bourgeoisie insurgency. 

(I can’t afford my rent.  My dog left me.  My life sucks.  I got mad.  I saw this grapefruit.  The rest is history.).

 

Observer:  This piece has certainly made an impression on me.

(Pathetic dikhead)

 

Art East:  Only an astute and refined collector such as yourself can possibly understand and appreciate the intricacy of the creative process.

(Hey buddy, you gonna buy this?  I can’t afford any more grapefruit.)

Comments

[joeguppy.livejournal.com]

Instead of the "Beaux artes", would these be the "Faux artes"?