Being an Adult Ain’t That Bad after All

[storytimewithjoe]

Recently, I got into a misunderstanding with a good friend of mine. We had a miscommunication and it left us both in a place of “what the f#*$ is the other person thinking????!” We found ourselves frustrated, and knew that we needed to have a comin-to-Jeebus. So we did what adults really SHOULD do. We talked. There was no big public confrontation. There was no big dramatic scene involving screaming and waving of accusations. There was no gathering of forces. Instead, we both bit back on initial concerns and frustrations, faced what began as an awkward conversation, laid out our logic, and then quickly learned where we had gotten off-track. In no time at all, the stress level went down, the frustration drained away, and we found ourselves laughing like we normally do. Why? Because we learned that it was a simple miscommunication, and recognized the domino effect of human errors that happened as a result. And ya know what? I think our friendship is stronger now because of it.

I look back at some of the biggest rifts that have taken place in my life and really wish that all the parties involved could have just been more adult about it. And no, I am not pointing the finger exclusively at the other party or parties. I too have behaved immaturely in the past when dealing with issues. But hey, it is what it is. When I was younger, I was… well… I was just that - younger. That is the key. Maturity doesn’t happen over night. A number of times, I remember sitting in the corner of a couch, moping over some situation that had gone horribly wrong, and just wishing that I had handled it with less passion and more reason. “Why, oh why, oh WHY do I get so upset over things like this?” I used to ask myself. “Why does this sort of a thing bother me so much? Why can’t I just let things go or handle them calmly?” But one thing that I have learned, that I obviously didn’t know back then, is that calm and rational maturity isn’t simply a learned behavioral trait. Sometimes it comes only through time and experience. And that is really polite speak for developing a thick-skin after getting burned. And I’m not sure if there is any way around that sort of a thing.

In a way, I do take solace in one thought. It is possible that the big-bad-blow-ups of yesteryears did lead to some good after all. Maybe, just maybe, through the pain and the upset that I felt, I did develop that thicker-skin. Maybe, just maybe, I learned to calm down a bit. Maybe, just maybe, things that used to bother me a Great Big Amount, really don’t even hit my radar now. Maybe, just maybe, I have learned not to react in knee-jerk fashion, but to pull back and think things out. Could it be that I finally done growed up?!!!!

As always, I am probably over-thinking this whole thing to death, when I should just enjoy the simplicity of the situation. My friend and I kissed n’ made up. And because we talked about the problem, and solved it together, we are now even stronger friends. That is really a great thing and it makes my inner child go, “Squeee!”

Comments

[slamson.livejournal.com]

I swear, I think we all just have to put time in grade while keeping an open mind. Eventually, if we let time teach us, we get it right. Some folks do the time but never learn the lesson. I assure you I couldn't have done the amount of customer contact I do now when I was in my 20's. Now? Much easier. Thick skin, the knowledge that it likely isn't even about me, and the realization that the only thing I can control is my response to a situation.