Is there any hope for me?

[storytimewithjoe]

Maybe I was just loopy...

Maybe I was oddly distracted...

Maybe it was a reaction to the olives I had at last night's olive-curing workshop (which was awesome, btw!)...

... but I had the most disturbing dream.

You see, Martha Stewart had JUST gotten out of prison. And she decided to take on a new project - you know... like ya do. She decided to break into porn. But unlike typical porn, she decided to do porn much like her typical shows. So, she would face the camera and in her utterly perfect "superior" voice, she would address the audience saying, "And today, I'm going to show you how to give the... perfect... blowjob." From there, she would go step by step, discussing anatomy, latin terms, techniques, stressing the importance of a good manicure, breathe mints (made from scratch, of course), etc.

Perhaps I should get a therapist.

Comments

[siobhan-genie.livejournal.com]

That's....so....rad. You have some of the best dreams!

[georgie-bird.livejournal.com]

Forget therapy, Honey, you are too far around the bend. Go straight for the lobotomy. First though, you have GOT to tell me all about the olives. I need details, instructions, secrets, everything about the olives. (Yes, I am going to pester the three of you until I get the information I want.)

Ditto

[flaming-mo.livejournal.com]

Though I recall a book out a few years back that gave instructions on it.

Re: Ditto

[georgie-bird.livejournal.com]

Instructions on what, the lobotomy or preserving olives?

Re: Ditto

[flaming-mo.livejournal.com]

Doing both at the same time. :^P

Re: Ditto

[joeguppy.livejournal.com]

Pimento-head!

[aliskye.livejournal.com]

There is no hope for you. Can I have your stuff? :)

[joeguppy.livejournal.com]

Snort! You are SOOOO ferengi.

[madknits.livejournal.com]

Perhaps I should get a therapist.

Yes perhaps you should. It was all I could do to keep from running from the room, screaming in mortal terror, thinking about Martha Stewart and blow jobs.

Eeewwwwww.

[joeguppy.livejournal.com]

Oh, you KNOW you can see it!

[lijss.livejournal.com]

Umm...did she have any good tips?

[joeguppy.livejournal.com]

Certainly some big ones!

[aeddie.livejournal.com]

You might need a therapist, but it's posts like this that keep me from needing one. Laughter the best medicine.

I'm not sure I want to know what this says about me that I thought it hilarious.

[joeguppy.livejournal.com]

It means you are a sick n' twisted monkey. But... you knew that.

[aumtattoo.livejournal.com]

You are one twisted individual. Now I have to scratch out my mind's eye... ewwww

*scritch scritch scritch*

[aeddie.livejournal.com]

So, you don't want to hear about what my mind came up with for her fetish shows.

"How to embellish your leather gear."
"How silk ribbon through the chains adds a dramatic flair."
etc...

[kottr.livejournal.com]

Ack, you made me snort in class. The teacher just glared at me, Great Dream!

[joeguppy.livejournal.com]

I try.

[columella.livejournal.com]

Perhaps? There is a question???